


Go On, Take Everything

by rickbisexualgrimes



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, M/M, Protective Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-12-28
Packaged: 2019-04-21 17:27:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 33,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14289777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rickbisexualgrimes/pseuds/rickbisexualgrimes
Summary: Taking care of threats was never a problem for Rick or Negan before but Alexandria was an entirely different story.





	1. Threat Incoming

**Author's Note:**

> Just so none of y'all get confused, the beginning is set at the end of s6 & will carry on from there. Also in case there's still some confusion this is extremely alternate canon & I tweaked a few details. Rick never found Carl/Lori/Shane & was alone in the apocalypse until he found the Sanctuary. So he ain't apart of Alexandria or Team Family, he's never met any of them in fact.
> 
>  
> 
> Also I drastically changed the Negan/Lucille backstory.

For Negan it was extremely bizarre to be so enamored by someone like he was by Rick. They were a match made in heaven (or hell depending on someone's perspective) and it sometimes overwhelmed the shit out of him. Having someone that got him so easily, having someone that saw each little or massive flaw and didn't run. Every day he thought of it as a fucking miracle. Maybe it was a miracle orchestrated by Lucille from up above. Somehow Negan truly believed it was destiny the way they met each other.

 

  
Without his right hand man, his husband, his fucking everything, he wouldn't be able to be the leader the Saviors needed. And he damn sure wouldn't be the person he actually wanted to be. When he was with Lucille he never grew as a person and that didn't help their relationship. Together they were chaos, not peace or tranquility. Lucille damn near hypnotized him the moment they met in some grungy bar. From there they dove head first into something that was never going to end well. They were both addicts trying to find a safe place with each other. Somewhere in his mind he knew them getting married was goddamn stupid. But stupid was practically his middle name during those years. And when Negan wanted them to have a genuine safe place, she refused to get clean. She left him in their shitty ass apartment in the middle of the night and never came back. Negan searched for her everywhere he could. A month or so later he got a call saying that she overdosed. That was the day that Negan relapsed, erasing over a month of progress.

 

  
Eventually he got back on track towards becoming sober but it took some time for him to be even willing to do so. Then the apocalypse came along and it didn't even matter whether he was sober or not. Nothing mattered anymore except survival. Until he found Rick among all the destruction.

 

  
The moment they met Rick looked like chaos on the run and damn, it was quite the fucking sight for Negan to see. Within minutes of meeting Rick pulled a gun on him and his men. He'd stumbled upon the Sanctuary because he thought it would be a place to hide out for the night. Which he wasn't wrong, not in the fucking slightest, since Negan giddily let him inside. All of his Saviors (especially Simon) were totally against allowing some stranger to stick around. Especially one that almost blew his head off. Where as Negan was pretty turned on by it.

 

  
Obviously Rick's interest in being in the group wasn't entirely high in any some sort of way. He'd apparently been flying solo for most of the apocalypse because he never found his loved ones. Negan did understand his hesitancy at the time because they were intimidating. Plus with Negan walking around with a barb wire bat made Rick even less convinced.

 

  
Nevertheless he took up the offer of sticking around for a couple of days just to see what it was like. Negan set him up in one of the nicer rooms to make his stay more comfortable.

 

  
From that moment their relationship experienced its ups and downs but Negan saw to it that Rick got to know him. The real him. Not the guy that he had to be all the fucking time. But the guy that he didn't allow very many people to see. All of that vulnerability seemed to win Rick over because after a year went by they got together. The first time felt like nothing Negan ever experienced before. The intimacy and the unwavering trust made it sensual, hands down the best sex Negan ever had in his whole life.

 

  
They tied the knot a couple months later because they didn't want to wait anymore. Negan took Rick's last name, they had their version of a honeymoon then went back to their regular routine. Running the Sanctuary together worked so damn well that sometimes Negan didn't need Simon. Even though he happened to be one of the best of his Saviors.

 

  
His continual support towards Rick did cause some animosity within the inner circle and Negan hated that shit. Yet still didn't bring himself to make a decision about what to do about it. The suggestions from Simon were solely linked to jealousy (possibly jealousy of his marriage as well.) And that conversation never went over how Negan needed it to go.

 

  
Negan held tight to the bright yellow railing, he admired the sunset that had orange bleeding into deep pink tones. So far his week besides hearing Simon bitch about everything was going fine. All of the communities he dealt with were still compliant from what he heard.

 

  
A noise came from behind him and out of paranoia he almost swung Lucille in that direction. What he saw instead of a threat was Rick with a worried but comical expression on his face. "What the hell, Negan?" Rick spurted out a laugh. "The way you reacted one would think you're paranoid."

 

  
Negan put Lucille down so that he would appear more relaxed. "I'm paranoid as shit sometimes 'cause I don't know when my Saviors will turn against me."

 

  
"As if they'd ever do that shit. You know they wouldn't." Rick wrapped his arms around his body from behind him. His warmth was bringing Negan some comfort but not exactly enough.

 

  
"I just feel something is fucking off and I don't know what it is. One of the outposts has been dead silent the past few days. We should pay them a visit to see what the hell is going on 'cause quite frankly I've lost my patience. Timmy and the dick brigade are still off doing whatever the fuck so we'll get some people on that."

 

 

"We can go see what's goin' on with the outpost tomorrow but tonight I wanna spend some time with you, alone."

 

 

From what Negan could tell Rick's voice was hoarse like his eyes were already shooting fire. When he moved his ass against Rick's crotch he noticed he was already semi hard. They had the option of getting down and dirty right there but Negan didn't want to blind anybody. Plus Simon would probably get jealous again if he came outside.

 

 

Negan had to practically jerk himself away from his husband before leading him back into the factory. Nobody was in the meeting room so Negan locked the door from the inside. Not a single person was going to interrupt them so they got to it. He was in the mood to take the reigns because Rick was topping him a bit too much lately.

 

 

  
After setting Lucille down in the corner he made his way over to Rick and took him into his arms. With eagerness he backed Rick up against the table, twisted him around and forcefully bent Rick over. Being aggressive was the type of treatment Rick enjoyed during sex. Sometimes they were slow and sensual but it wasn't their regular jam. When he tugged Rick's jeans down he noticed a wetness between Rick's cheeks. His fingers slipped into Rick's entrance but noticed he was already loose. Sometimes Rick would surprise him by getting prepped ahead of time which saved time. Not to mention it made him tingle in the best fucking way picturing that. Rick's legs trembled when he removed his fingers.

 

 

The table wasn't the most stable one so he couldn't lay Rick out on it. So fucking him from behind would be the position for their quickie. Looking at Rick's juicy ass always sent him over the edge anyways.

 

  
Negan didn't bother taking off his clothes and instead removed his rock hard dick from his jeans. Foreplay wasn't needed this time around so he took advantage of that and pushed inside. It only took one swift thrust before Rick was full with him, they both moaned at the feeling. The table made creaky noises as he pumped inside in and out of his husband.

 

  
All those little noises that Rick made when he wanted to be quiet were even hotter than when he screamed.

 

 

"Fuck. Negan just fuck me I ain't gonna break. And neither is this table." Rick experimentally bounced backwards with all his might. His ass jiggled just enough that Negan couldn't take his eyes away.

 

 

"When you start doing shit like that I get the urge to fuck you into the next universe." Negan growled before squeezing Rick's cheeks. "Sure you want that right now? You've been real sore lately."

 

 

"Fuck. me. now."

 

 

"You dirty fucker."

 

 

Just as Rick requested, he fucked the hell out of him. He fucked him so hard that the table was making extremely loud noises. If anyone was close by they damn sure he heard what was going on. Not that Negan really gave a rat's ass if anyone did or not. He came a bit earlier than expected and Rick followed soon after.

 

  
A knock on the door completely disrupted their post orgasm haze, which had Negan stuffing his dick back inside his pants. Whoever it was would need to have a decent fucking reason for trying to get inside the room.

 

  
Negan told Rick to get himself situated and then went over to the door to open it. When he got it open he immediately saw Simon and Arat, they seemed unimpressed. Or more so Simon seemed unimpressed.

 

  
Whatever it was had to be pretty goddamn serious judging by his expression.

 

  
"We were just..well you know what the fuck we were doing. Don't worry I didn't lay his naked ass on the table, if it makes either of you feel any better he was bent over the side I usually sit at. Any-fucking-who is there a situation?"

 

 

  
Simon cleared his throat dramatically, "Yes, boss, we do. We still haven't heard back from one of our outposts and we've tried to radio any and everyone. I'm almost certain that something's gone down there, something bad. We need to get a handle on this as soon as possible."

 

 

  
"What do you do propose we do?" Negan asked Simon who had a glimmer in his eye, probably because Rick was supposed to be his right hand.

 

 

"I propose we send a team out right now, we should be there in a few hours tops and we'll figure it out from there. Meanwhile I was able to send out a team to find Timmy and the gang today. They were blown up like blown to goddamn pieces. Paula's group is missing too. I think we really do have a situation on our hands. D mentioned something about this guy he met in the woods when he escaped with Sherry and her sister. That he was apart of a community."

 

  
Another goddamn community right under their noses. How the fuck did Negan not know about this possible community?

 

  
Negan's eye twitched at the news then he opened the door wide so Arat and Simon could come inside. "We need to get a couple of people and load up one of the vehicles. If there's a threat we'll take care of it."

 

* * *

 

 

  
The vehicle pulled up to the outpost and Negan could already see some of the bodies outside. It all looked pretty fucking grim from what Negan saw already and they weren't even through the front doors yet. The mission wasn't huge so Negan only brought along his higher ranking Saviors. Everyone that came had their own reactions to the dead bodies outside.

 

  
Even though he didn't want Rick anywhere near the possible dangers, he refused to stay behind. Obviously Negan knew he was pretty damn overprotective of Rick but he never was able to stop him. When Rick was determined about something there was no keeping him tethered.

 

  
Negan felt anger boiling in the pit of his stomach upon seeing his dead Saviors. Not because he was close to the specific people that were dead but it meant they really did have a threat. Who else knew about their outpost? Those fucking Hilltop people did but they didn't have the collective gall to even try this shit. Gregory was too much of a cowardly kiss ass to do it on his own. Unless they had help from that secretive community.

 

  
He instructed they head inside and make sure their weapons are ready to shoot if necessary. Negan kept Rick close to him with Lucille in hand just in case. Upon stepping inside he could already sense death. There were some people that reanimated which they were taken care of immediately. Some of those people had loved ones back at the Sanctuary. Negan didn't know what he'd tell them other than some goddamn animals slaughtered them. He didn't claim to be a saint or anything but he wouldn't stoop this fucking low unless he had to.

 

 

Simon seemed the most miffed because some of the guys in there were his buddies. No one was reacting calmly about seeing their people dead, aside from Arat who remained stoic as ever.

 

 

They repeated the process of killing off the reanimated people and searched the rooms. Negan saw people laying there dead with knife wounds in their heads. It meant that whoever slaughtered his outpost killed people in their fucking sleep.

 

  
What type of sick fucks do shit like this? Negan thought to himself, he would at least kill people while they were awake. Not just shove a knife into someone's brain as they slept. These people were clearly dangerous but Negan wasn't scared of that, he would teach them a lesson.

 

 

 

  
Rick's eyes squeezed shut with anger when he saw an assortment of people scattered in one of the hallways. Someone seemed to have machine gunned them down from the room at the end. Whoever these people were they clearly weren't screwing around. And it made Rick wonder if he had never found the Sanctuary or Negan would he have found these people. The very individuals who slaughtered an outpost of people that weren't even doing anything to them. As far as Rick knew this wasn't the work of any of the communities they had deals with.

 

 

  
The Hilltop didn't seem capable of violence like this, at least not the vast majority of those living in the community. There were some that he knew would fight if they genuinely needed to. While others like Gregory would probably panic immediately. That spineless piece of shit was someone that Rick would never respect. Yet he still had to meet with him from time to time. Sometimes Simon would offer to deal with the Hilltop for him but as Negan's right hand it was his job. Just because he happened to be Negan's husband didn't mean he would sit around and look pretty.

 

 

  
The Kingdom on the other hand was a different community. Rick saw them as people living in a fantasy rather than the reality of the apocalypse. Their leader seemed to put on quite the show, calling himself a King and having his people dress like medieval soldiers. But Rick saw through that facade and didn't feed into it.

 

 

  
Whoever these people happened to be, Rick was looking forward to meeting them.

 

* * *

 

 

  
"Fucking fuck fuck fuck fuck!" Negan screamed once they got back to the Sanctuary. He had all the higher ranker Saviors that went to the outpost sitting there in shock. No one was uttering a single word. "Who the fuck are these goddamn people. Did Dwighty boy give us any goddamn information other than he found some hick in the woods?"

 

  
"No he didn't but I'm sure we'll find out who these people are. I'll do my damnedest to figure it out." Simon nodded along.

 

  
"Someone will definitely be meeting Lucille that's for damn sure. I'll make an example out of someone and they'll be pissing their goddamn pants. I don't think they even know who they're messing with."

 

  
"They don't know but we'll make them understand." Rick squeezed Negan's shoulder. "These are the types of people who don't save others, not like us. We restore balance to the world and who are we?"

 

  
"We're Negan." The Saviors sitting around the table responded.

 

 

"Who are we?!" Rick asked again but louder this time with a half smile on his face.

 

 

"We're Negan!"

 

  
Negan admired the way Rick was taking charge and motivating everyone. His speeches always brought up everyone's spirits which was a fucking gift. If Negan were to die (which he had plans to do so anytime soon) he'd want Rick to take over. The Sanctuary would thrive with him as the leader.

 

  
When the meeting came to a close he saw Simon waiting to speak so he told Rick to go their bedroom. Rick kissed him momentarily right in front of Simon then left the room with everyone else.

 

  
They sat back down at the table together and Negan could tell that Simon had a few things to say. Most likely things that would piss him the fuck off.

 

  
"What do you want right now, Simon? I'm in no goddamn mood to get into an argument. So tell me whatever the fuck is on your mind." Negan rubbed circles into his forehead.

 

  
Simon absentmindedly touched his mustache. "I'm worried that we've got a big threat on our hands. This community seems like a potential threat if they were able to take out that outpost. When we find them we should just kill the whole damn place."

 

 

"I'm sorry, am I hearing correctly right now? That you want to blast a whole goddamn community that could work for us? Are you fucking out of your mind? I'll kill someone to make my point clear but we're not doing that. No sir. This could be an opportunity to branch out even more and bring in more supplies."

 

 

"Boss..I don't think -"

 

 

"I really hope you're not trying to step on my fucking toes right now. You're one of my best, Simon. So believe me when I say it'd pain me to have to get rid of you." Negan warned him without a smile on his face.

 

 

"Thank you for hearing me out." Simon got up from his seat hesitantly and left the room without a single word from his mouth.

 

 

  
When Negan got back to his bedroom he was too fucking tired to deal with anything else. One of his Saviors was standing guard for his shift and he noticed he was swaying from tiredness. Negan ordered him to get the next guy to take over in a couple of minutes. As soon as he got inside his room and shut the door he saw Rick passed out on their bed. The sight made him eager to get under the covers.

 

  
He paid attention to Rick's face as he slept, his mouth was open and his eyelashes were even more visible. How Negan got so goddamn lucky to be laying next to a man that looked like Rick. With absolute tenderness so that he didn't wake Rick, he ran his thumb against his cheek. The younger man made a noise but didn't wake up.

 

  
Negan curled up on his side to avoid disturbing Rick's sleep, he was too tired to get up to anything in the first place. And if the Sanctuary had a threat against them then he'd have to get prepared for that shit.

 


	2. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a series of flashbacks leading up to how they got together. It's one of the longest chapters I have written in a long damn time so it took me a while to finish.

_"What the hell do we do with him? Boss?" Simon asked as he clutched tight to the man who tried breaking into the Sanctuary._

  
_The man before Negan didn't seem like any regular guy, in fact he even pulled a gun on him, which only made him more intriguing. Without even giving it anymore than a couple seconds of thought, he told Simon to let him through. Majority of his Saviors seemed miffed by that suggestion._

  
_Having Simon as his right hand proved to be a decent idea in the beginning. When they took the place over he saw something in Simon. He displayed a certain type of ruthlessness that got the job done but at what price? Simon often times went over board or made decisions that had Negan questioning him. For now he was the best Negan was going to get._

_Negan directed Simon and the other Saviors helping out with the situation towards the meeting room. A light conversation would be the only way to get through to the mystery man. Not that Negan couldn't handle him but he seemed like a fucking bad ass that would rip open his neck. Whether or not that would be with his teeth or not was still up for question._

  
_When he sat down at the head of the table he felt that surge of power go through him. Sometimes it was intoxicating like he got high off being in control to that degree. Negan set Lucille on the dark brown table then propped his legs up. When Simon ordered the others to leave he chuckled under his breath. What the fuck made Simon think he was staying either?_

  
_The man was pushed down into one of the seats by Simon who didn't bother to be gentle about it either._

_"I'm gonna need a minute or two with our guest, Simon. Which means you need to leave so I can speak to him alone without all that unnecessary protectiveness. Somethin' tells me that." Negan snapped his fingers at the man. "I don't even know your name, what's your name darling?"_

_"Why should I tell you?" The man cocked his head which caused his chestnut curls to move with him._

_"Look. at. you. Tryna be King Shit when you're most certainly not the king around here. You'd be wise to tell me your name right the fuck now or I'll get a bit more unpleasant." Negan gave him a look that said he meant business, his fingers stroked Lucille like a lover to further indicate the point._

_"It's Rick. Rick Grimes."_

_"Nice to meet you, Rick. If you didn't catch my name during our very brief encounter then I'll repeat myself. I'm Negan, leader of the Saviors and this glorious place I like to call the Sanctuary. You see we're in the business of saving people and restoring order back to the world. Do you think that's somethin' you'd like to be apart of?"_

_Simon scoffed noticeably then stepped towards the table, "This man just tried to kill you earlier. Now you want him to join us?"_

_"Didn't I already tell you to leave? You know I don't like to repeat my goddamn self." Negan snarled at Simon who didn't seem as scared as he should be. Maybe another stern talking to was in order. With Simon he always seemed to teeter between rebellion and obedience. It made for a difficult time when it came to decisions because he was a loose fucking cannon._

_"My apologies, boss." Simon finally complied but leaned down to whisper something in Rick's ear. After doing so he finally exited the room, slamming the door behind him like a scolded child._

_What a fucking idiot Negan thought before addressing Rick once again. "What'd he say to you? I want to know every fucking word 'cause the thing is, he doesn't have the last say in what happens around here. I'm the fucking boss and he's my right hand man."_

_Rick eyed him with skeptical sky blue eyes, "He told him that he'd string me up by my balls if I did anythin' stupid."_

  
_"Don't worry, Rick. I'll make sure that he doesn't lay a finger on you, at least not unless you start to actually cause problems for me. You won't cause problems for me, right?"_

_"No. I kinda would like to be on my way to find somewhere else to sleep for the night."_

_Negan waved him off like he was being absolutely ridiculous. "Nonsense! We got plenty of room in this fucking place for you to stay the night! You can figure out what you wanna do tomorrow but for now it's gettin' dark. A pretty guy like you walking around these parts, not safe."_

_"I can take care of myself." Rick stated with a confidence that Negan didn't quite buy because the guy seemed alone. Almost like he'd been alone for quite some time._

_Negan clicked his tongue, "Most people don't last out there by themselves and you look like you're barely holdin' it together. When was the last time you slept in an actual bed? I don't mean some makeshift bed or a rotted out mattress."_

_His words seemed to be swaying Rick because he looked down nervously, the contemplation was clear on his pretty face. Negan put one of his most charming smiles and told Rick he could stay as long as he wanted._

_Negan made sure to mention that Rick could still join the Saviors if he wanted to. Most likely Simon would has a hissy fit about that shit. Negan didn't feel worried but he hoped Simon wouldn't pull something._

  
_"I suppose I could stay for a few days at least but I ain't makin' any promises." Rick reached out to shake his hand. "Okay?"_

_As soon as Negan reached out to shake on it he noticed Rick was becoming increasingly nervous. The guy really had been on his own for a long ass time if he was acting that skittish. Who the hell was Rick Grimes? And how long would it take for Negan to find out?_

* * *

_Eventually what Negan expected would happen, ended up happening._

  
_There he was trying to enjoy the rest of his day and Simon just had to fucking disturb that. All because he was a jealous idiot. They'd been doing some on and off thing that Negan still didn't understand himself. For him it was just sex, an easy release and Simon wasn't a terrible fuck. Now it was obvious he caught feelings so easily like a bug during cold and flu season. Mixing business with pleasure was usually a brain dead idea but Negan wasn't one to deprive himself._

  
_Instead of making a fucking scene in front of everybody that Simon was basically doing, Negan dragged them off. Being aggressive towards Simon was the only way he would listen._

  
_Negan unlocked the door to one of the rooms that he wanted to make a getaway for himself. A room that wasn't where he slept but a private sanctuary within the Sanctuary. He made sure Simon got the message when he tossed him down onto the black couch._

  
_His right hand man looked stunned and almost a little bit turned on by his display of violence, despite there being no amusement in his eyes. Almost every time he'd fool around with Simon he got increasingly irritated. Since he'd make their arrangement into more than what it was by behaving like a jealous lover._

_Not only did it make Negan look like a fucking amateur for not having a handle on his personal situations. But it made Simon look unprofessional for having a conniption fit over some new guy. A new guy that Negan already seemed to be taking an interest in which Simon could see that. Rick was essentially a threat._

  
_Simon shot a glare in his direction but dialed it back when Negan stood in front of him with Lucille stretched out. They always played little games like this when Simon would act tough and then cower down. His right hand man knew for a goddamn fact that he was a punk compared to him. No one would ever follow Simon's lead because he was too reckless. There wouldn't be any "Simon says" bullshit, not in Negan's domain._

  
_He leaned forward so that Lucille would press against Simon's shirt then he sexually dragged her down to his crotch. Negan wanted to make Simon believe he wasn't actually in trouble when he was. It made this specific game a little more exciting for Negan. Quite frankly it tickled his balls just a little fucking bit._

_Negan used his other hand to cup himself through his jeans and let out a really deep moan. Without giving a single warning he let Lucille drop to the floor and used his dominant hand to choke Simon. The other man's deep brown eyes went wide as he choked for air. Negan tightened his grip so the message would be real clear. "Let me make some shit clear to you. We're not a fucking couple, we'll never be that for a lot of reasons I don't care to list. Now, I want you to really hear me when I say that you'll leave Rick alone. If I hear that you're threatening him, hurting him or doing something out of line, I'll deal with you. Hell, maybe in time Rick will be my right hand man. Maybe a demotion is what you need to get your head on straight. And if we ever fuck again it'll be on my goddamn terms, not when you want to bounce on my glorious dick. Nod once if you understand."_

_Simon nodded once as he was instructed to which is when Negan released his throat. He began coughing profusely and clutching to his now bruised up throat with an unreadable expression._

* * *

 

 

_"Glad to hear you're on board! What made you change your mind about joining?" Negan smirked then patted Rick's shoulder._

_"I think it's the best decision for me movin' forward and I got nowhere else to go at this point. Plus I actually missed sleepin' in a real bed." Rick looked down at his worn in boots shyly._

_Without scaring him off too quickly Negan winked at the younger man just to see what he'd do. Rick continued to look down and blush like a fucking teenager which was more endearing than anything._

 

_There wasn't any signing of contract or secret handshake because Negan didn't roll like that. The apocalypse didn't exactly offer much in the way of contracts. Basically once you become a Savior you get certain benefits compared to the regular people occupying the Sanctuary. If you're someone who is a higher up you get treated the best obviously. Maybe it was Negan's dick talking for him but Rick could move his way on up a lot quicker than most._

* * *

_Rick never thought about other communities before and now he was being opened up to a wider world. Apparently the Saviors took from other communities to help provide for the Sanctuary. From an outside perspective he'd probably hate the idea. Yet he found it to be a decent strategy for those who didn't want to go through the hassle of scavenging._

 

_Majority of the Saviors kept to themselves though Rick tried to engage in conversation with the approachable people. Those who were receptive wouldn't be total assholes towards him. While others were standoffish and made it clear he was getting better treatment than they ever got. Knowing that Negan favored him didn't put a sour taste in his mouth, it only made him wonder why. They'd only known each other for a few months so why?_

 

  
_Instead of going in one of the bigger vehicles he hopped in with Dwight and Simon. The decision was extremely last minute because he avoided Simon at all costs._

  
_Most of the Saviors kept to themselves unless they happened to be close but Rick attempted to make conversation. Those who were receptive wouldn't be total assholes towards him. Meanwhile others were standoffish and made it clear they weren't going to be friends. Dwight usually was the only person who didn't treat him like an outsider._

  
_"So we're goin' to a hilltop? I don't understand." Rick asked out loud hoping either Dwight or Simon would clear it up for him._

  
_Simon sighed more than obnoxiously. "The place is called the Hilltop...it's basically a community of farmers. They got a leader there named Gregory who quite frankly doesn't know what he's doing. He kisses my ass a lot."_

  
_"That' an understatement." Dwight piped in._

  
_"I swear he has literally no backbone and will do whatever I say..not like he has a choice in the matter anyways." Simon continued driving and then brought his attention over to Rick. "So, have you been hanging out with the boss lately?"_

  
_"Not so much lately, I guess he's just busy." Rick didn't glance over at Simon or give him the satisfaction of his disappointment._

  
_Simon snorted arrogantly, "Oh he sure as hell has been busy..with me..if you catch my drift. We had some fun the other day in fact."_

  
_"Really? Do you have to be like that right now? I don't wanna hear about anyone's sex life. I don't care who you're sleeping with." Dwight rolled his eyes at Simon._

  
_"That's only 'cause you haven't gotten any in a while? Is Sherry not into you anymore?"_

  
_"Not that I owe you an explanation but Sherry and I are just having some issues."_

  
_Rick didn't know Dwight all that well nor did they speak very much but he wasn't a stranger to relationship issues. His marriage was on the rocks even before he got shot and they never fixed anything. Lori always brought up how he didn't communicate enough, how he always held things on and it frustrated her. While Rick found the spark in their marriage was long past out, they married so young that he wondered if that was why._

_Thinking about his old life made him disconnect for the rest of the car ride. Rick almost fell asleep until they finally reached their destination which seemed to be a huge wooden wall._

  
_All of the other Saviors who came along stopped their vehicles and got out of the car. Simon told Rick to keep quiet because he'd be handling Gregory like he always did. He gritted his teeth and said he understood. Sometimes when Simon told him how to act it made him want to lash out at the man._

  
_Rick hopped out of the vehicle and stood outside of the wall like everyone else seemed to be. A voice called down from higher up saying they were going to open the gate for them._

  
_Not long after the gate was being opened right up and all the Saviors started moving forwards. The very moment Rick was in the place they called the Hilltop, he was blown away by the sense of community. It seemed like a very tight knit place and almost felt like a farmers market. There were people scattered about, minding their own business and not paying the Saviors mind. Some people were gathering up supplies while others were just looming in the background._

  
_Soon a much older man came out of what was a rather large mansion. Most likely the man was that Gregory guy they were discussing earlier in a not so fond type of way. Rick stood there with his gun at his hip._

  
_"Welcome welcome! I see you're here for the pick up, Simon! Please come inside and join me for a drink." Gregory urged Simon before stopping in his tracks. "Who is this? I've never seen him before."_

  
_Rick noticed Simon was opening his mouth to explain so he interjected. "I'm Rick Grimes, a relatively new member of the Saviors."_

  
_"Nice to meet you Ricky." Gregory extended his hand out momentarily and Rick took it._

  
_"It's Rick."_

  
_"Right. Of course. Anyways, let's go inside for that drink! Simon you can bring Dwayne and Ricky while the rest of your people take what you need."_

  
_They began heading towards the mansion while the rest of the Saviors spread throughout the community. Rick didn't understand how that was a proper way of doing things and he didn't get Gregory either._

  
_Rick groaned which caused Dwight to looked at him quizzically. "Does he always get names wrong like that?"_

_"Yes." Dwight responded back. "The guy is an idiot, okay? I don't even know how he survived this long."_

  
_The inside of the mansion was spotless like no one ever entered the place and Rick was taken aback. He continued to follow Dwight and Simon as they were lead into a room that looked like an office. Gregory then began to explain to Rick what the place was before and went to pour their drinks._

  
_"So..Ricky..how come I've never seen you before? You don't seem that new." Gregory sipped away at the bourbon he poured for himself._

  
_Rick nervously took a sip of his own drink, "I've been mostly doin' work at the Sanctuary. Negan wanted to make sure I was ready to do pick ups."_

 

_"Maybe he didn't think you had the stomach to handle what we do." Simon mumbled from where he was seated._

 

_All the comments were testing his patience and he was ready to tell Simon to go fuck himself._

  
_Why he continually insisted on one upping him was irritating not to mention pointless. Rick had no pull in the Sanctuary or how anything was operated. So why was Simon insistent on being an asshole towards him? Did he solely have to do with Negan's attraction towards him? If Simon was sleeping with Negan then how was Rick a threat to that?_

  
_Rick went over all the reasons in his head then came to the conclusion that Simon was insecure. A confident person wouldn't be worried about someone stepping in their territory._

  
_If whatever was going on with Simon and Negan was actually on stable ground he wouldn't bother. Negan openly flirted with him while Simon was around, a couple times he hinted that they could have some fun too. Since Rick didn't feel ready he silently declined the offers for sex._

  
_"He just didn't want me to be uncomfortable, that's all. In fact Negan encouraged me to do this today so I guess I do have the stomach." Rick took another sip and watched as Simon turned a deep shade of red._

_Gregory seemed oblivious to the drama that was occurring or he just didn't care. "Negan's a great leader nonetheless, yep, I applaud his leadership. Will he be swinging by anytime soon?"_

  
_The rest of the time spent at the Hilltop went by awkwardly yet Rick was a lot less nervous. Being treated like a fucking idiot by Simon was officially done and if he had issue then too bad. He'd dealt with people like Simon in the old world, they were people who get too cocky for their own good. And sometimes people like that had to get knocked on their ass._

  
_Rick continued to help load up the boxes and crates from the tribute until Simon pulled him aside. An anger he'd suppressed was springing forth towards Simon, it made him unsure of what he'd do. "What?"_

_"You made a fool out of me back there in front of Gregory and Dwight. I don't think I appreciate that very much and Negan won't either. Just 'cause you're a pretty package doesn't mean Negan won't get sick of you. You'll just be another piece of ass to him." Simon had stepped closer into Rick's personal bubble. It seemed like he wanted to mimic Negan in every possible way._

_"I don't think you understand who I am ,what I can do or what I've had to do to survive. If Negan wanted me out so bad he'd just do it..instead he seems to like keepin' me around. I wonder why that is." Rick shoved at Simon who seemed caught by surprise. He sure didn't know who he was messing with after all._

* * *

_After months and fucking months, Negan almost lost count but it was happening ever since Rick got there. Listening to his right hand man bitch about Rick was getting on Negan's last goddamn nerve. Simon was losing touch with what his job actually was and kept forgetting shit he should remember. The Sanctuary wasn't a fucking playground, it was going to propel them towards a better future. And ever since Rick arrived, Simon had been even more of a disaster._

_About twenty minutes into Simon's bitching he told him to shut the fuck up. He had absolutely no humor on his face because it wasn't funny at fucking all. Negan already knew that Simon was threatened. But he was taking his obsession with hating Rick to another level._

_If he had to be honest and tell Simon that he was entirely interested in Rick and wanted to fuck his brains out..then he would. Quite frankly Simon was only something familiar for Negan to hold onto. He had to end whatever they were doing before it got in the way of the community._

_"What the hell, boss? What's your problem now?" Simon scratched at his pornstache and squinted at him._

_Negan rubbed circles into the spot on his forehead that was beginning to ache. "I'm fucking done with this shit. Do you hear me? Whatever this is..it's done."_

_"You can't be serious. How fucking interested in that guy are you? He tries to kill you but you invite him into our community and now you want to fuck him! He's lucky I didn't knock his teeth in at the Hilltop. All those farmers woulda got a nice show." Simon huffed and puffed but didn't blow the house down. He just kept rambling and making himself look pathetic._

_"I'm relieving you of your goddamn duties by the way, you need to get yourself in order. I can't be having you make decisions while you're so fixated on bullshit. Now get the fuck away from me. And Simon I swear on Lucille if you pull any stupid shit during this time..you'll regret it."_

_In the most dramatic way possible Simon stalked off down the hallway and kicked something along the way. Once Negan could no longer hear Simon cursing he walked in that very direction. He had to find Rick to talk to him and make sure nothing stupid happened._

* * *

_Just when Rick thought he could mind his own damn business, he was suddenly being swung around to face Simon. The rage in his eyes was undeniable and something told Rick it was about Negan. When Simon made his attempt at punching him he dodged it in time then gut punched the other man. That only sparked more violence because it seemed to motivate Simon to keep going._

  
_Rick got rammed into the wall behind him and he got slightly winded by the action. A fist connected with his face so hard he didn't know how to react. He felt punches landing all over his body. All his attempts to block the shots were failing because Simon was like a bat out of hell._

  
_Trying to reason with a man who couldn't be reasoned with wouldn't work so he returned the violence. None of the Saviors that were gathering around them seemed to want to stop the fight. Rick had no surprise about that because most of the Saviors were self serving. He lunged forward causing them both to land on the ground. Rick scrambled to climb on top of Simon who looked rapid._

  
_Using all his weight he held Simon down as he pounded into his face with extreme force. The people watching him were practically egging him on which almost made Rick animalistic. What was more enticing than being in control and holding a person's life in your hands? Not much._

  
_Simon got the upper hand for some reason and when he had Rick on his back he began choking him. Panic was setting in and he realized no one was going to help him in any way. No air was coming in as the man was choking him so hard he almost began seeing stars. Rick couldn't die like this, certainly not because Simon was a fucking maniac._

  
_A loud booming voice was in proximity but Rick couldn't make it out because he was beginning to fade away._

  
_The person ordered someone to get Simon off him and they did without question. Rick gasped for air and felt around for a weapon just in case Simon came at him again. He didn't find a weapon but a hand grasped his. His vision wasn't blurry any longer and he could see Negan looking at him frantic._

  
_"Get him out of him and take him to the fucking hole! Feel free to fuck him up along the way or when you get there." Negan snapped at the Saviors who were dragging Simon down the other hallway._

  
_"You should have let me kill him! Rick will be the death of you!" Simon screamed as he was being dragged off by three different people._

  
_"Are you okay, Rick? You need to lay down and get some water in you." Negan grazed his thumb along Rick's slowly bruising throat. "Goddamn look what he did to you."_

_"I don't know what came over him 'cause I sure as hell didn't do anythin' to him today."_

_"It's my goddamn fault for ending things the way I did..I should have known he'd try some shit like this. Once he left in a fucking rage I had to follow him to make sure he didn't kill you. He's capable of some crazy shit if you hadn't noticed. So am I but not like him."_

_"Can you take me to my room? I don't mean to sound like a damn teenager but um I'm feelin' pretty weak right now."_

_"Of course! Lemme help you up darling."_

_Something about Negan being so delicate with him was sending involuntary shivers through him. He almost got choked to death but was internally addressing his feelings for Negan. The same man who unintentionally caused him to be almost killed on the floor. Everything felt a little too chaotic for Rick and yet he didn't mind the chaos._

* * *

_After that day nothing was remotely the same between him and Negan. They began spending more time together that consisted of more than just Negan checking him out or making suggestive comment. Rick was nerve wracked at the sheer thought of taking that leap. Who would make the first move if both of them were too damn scared to? Rick sometimes pictured it being him. Maybe he'd just kiss Negan to see how he'd react to that._

_Since Simon was still in the hole for what he did Negan was taking on more than he wanted to. Which Rick took it upon himself to help him out. He'd go over the plans with him, point out any flaws, help him deal with any problems or decisions. The other Saviors that actually liked Simon were up in arms about it. But Negan made it clear that it'd be unwise to try to change the situation themselves._

_Negan was still keeping Simon in the hole and Rick couldn't bring himself to feel bad about that. And every day he'd bring Rick to where Simon was and he promised to not let it happen again. Promises like that were often broken in the new world. Yet Rick truly believed him._

_He passed the tray of food over to Negan who reluctantly opened the door. Simon was curled up in the corner with nothing but boxer briefs on. Two weeks was almost coming up for Simon being in there. Negan already made it clear that at the end of the two weeks he'd let him out. And he'd have around the clock supervision until Negan said otherwise._

_"You deserve this shit, Simon, I hope you really understand that. Once I let you outta here you'll have someone following you until you sleep. Earning my trust back will be a lot fucking harder so don't half ass it. Here's some food you don't deserve but I can't have you croaking in here." Negan set the tray that had a sandwich and some homemade chips on it down. Then he closed the door as Simon reached for his food._

  
_Rick had his hands on his hips and a glimmer in his eyes. "I need to askin you somethin' and I'm just worried it's the wrong time."_

_"What is it darling?" Negan's face was surprisingly soft._

_"I know you're sleepin' with other people but what are we doin'? It's obvious there's somethin' between us so I'm confused why you've never made a move." Rick saw the look on Negan's face go from soft to blank._

_"Honestly? I'm a fucking coward. With Lucille it was fast, destructive and we burnt each other out. We were both addicts so that didn't help a damn thing." Negan's eye started to tear up. "Everything was just way too fucking fast with us and pills or whatever else was the only thing connecting us. I knew she didn't love me more than she loved her drugs..I just knew it. So when I wanted to get clean she couldn't handle that shit. The only thing binding us together would no longer be there. I know I already told you this shit but I don't want to ruin you somehow. I would hate myself even more if I ruined you when you've still got some light left in you."_

_Rick gently placed his hands against Negan's face so he'd look at him. "We're not you and Lucille. What happened between you was tragic but we won't be a different version of that. The one year mark is coming up soon so how 'bout this, when it's finally one year of me bein' here, we can decide then. "_

_"We only got a few months to go and there's a shit ton we need to do in the mean time. You sure you can wait?"_

_"Yes, I can wait for that moment. Whatever we decide it'll be what's best for us both."_

* * *

_Originally joining the Saviors was for survival but eventually became more than right. All Rick had been doing since the beginning of the apocalypse was wandering aimlessly. His decision to stop looking for Carl, Lori and Shane was one of the most heart wrenching he'd ever made. They were apart of the former world and it was all he had left to hold onto. Now Rick knew letting them go was the only way he'd be able to function the way he needed to._

  
_Though sometimes Rick would think about Carl's curiosity, Lori's terrible pancakes that he and Carl ate or he'd hear Shane's laugh. All those things stung him now so he kept his mind occupied. Rick did what he was told whether it seemed emotionally compromising or not and most of the time it was._

  
_Whoever he thought he was before the world ended was dead and there was no turning back. A little over a year had gone by now so it was time for him to genuinely let it all go to move forward._

_For once the weather wasn't blistering hot and the rain was coming down hard. According to Negan everyone had the day off to "do whatever the fuck they wanted." So Rick took that opportunity to be alone in his room to journal his thoughts._

  
_He wrote down:_

  
_**I've been missing people lately but I can't afford to miss anybody, not anymore. So much had changed in the last several months, Negan named me his new right hand man and now I'm respected around here. I know what I want and hopefully Negan wants that still too.** _

_Rick tried to continue writing until he heard a familiar knock on his door. All signs pointed towards Negan being the person behind it and Rick really needed it to be Negan. He scooted off his bed to answer the door. As soon as he turned the handle and opened it he saw Negan with Lucille over his shoulder. Instead of a seductive smirk he got a soft smile._

_The taller man walked past him into his room but didn't say a single word to Rick. If the man didn't run his mouth so much Rick wouldn't be nervous about why he was there. But since Negan was well...Negan, he was confused. Whenever the man came around he felt like he was being swept up in a storm. Though it wasn't the storm Rick wanted to escape exactly._

  
_"Do ya mind if I sit on your bed? It looks mighty comfy and my legs are killin' me right now." Negan asked in an almost hushed tone of voice._

_Rick didn't know how it would go if he let Negan sit down. "Yes you can sit down. Um, are you here for somethin'?"_

_"I'm here to give you my answer."_

_Instead of looking away from the man he indefinitely felt attracted to he glanced in Negan's direction. Seeing Negan sit down and spread his legs was causing Rick to lose breath. It seemed pretty damn juvenile to have that intense of a reaction but control went out of the window with Negan._

_Rick remained standing and leaned against the nearest wall. "What is it?" A whole mess of butterflies were fluttering around inside of Rick's stomach when Negan stared at him. This was the moment he'd been thinking about every single night and what if he didn't want him anymore?_

_Negan smoothed his hand over his slicked back hair. "So, I won't lie to you Rick..it took me almost sleepin' with someone to come here. Last night I wanted to get you out of my mind for a moment so I hit up Frankie. We almost slept together but I stopped before we got our clothes off. All I could think of was you underneath me and that's when it hit me. I never wanted to think of how I fucking felt for you 'cause it's overwhelming. So what I'm tryna say is I want you so goddamn much, I want you more than anything. I fucking love you, Rick. I mean that."_

  
_All of what he felt for Negan was swallowing him whole and no response was coming out of him. This is what Lori would want for him whether she was alive or dead now. She would want him to genuinely move on. And he definitely wanted that for her. To brace himself a bit more Rick sat on the bed alongside the taller man. Rick didn't know if he was ready for sex yet, even after all this time._

  
_Negan shifted so he could lean over to Rick, his eyes were fluttering and so were Rick's. All of his inhibitions were screaming and then he was giving Negan a sensual kiss. Their kiss was languid and mind shattering. Negan's long fingers were tangled up his hand and Rick tried not to lean back. The old man clearly wanted to take it there but he wasn't ready._

  
_When Negan's hands found their way to his bare back he almost whimpered at the touch. Rick managed to stop them before they took it to the next step because he needed a moment. "I'm sorry I'm really overwhelmed. Can you give me a few minutes and I'll come to your room?"_

_"Take all the time you need darling, okay? I don't want you to rush into this without thinking first."_

_"Thank you."_

  
_Negan kissed the top of his head before leaving him alone in this bedroom again._

_Several minutes went by where Rick didn't even move from the spot Negan left him in. The courage to finally tell him what he felt pushed him to his feet and helped him leave his room. Rick ran all the way to Negan's room without stopping even once._

  
_Once he got to the Negan's bedroom he saw there wasn't any Savior outside of his door. And that wasn't normal since Negan almost always had a guard at his door. Apparently due to his looming paranoia that someone would attempt to kill him._

  
_Rick didn't waste time with knocking because Negan was expecting him already. He swung the door open to find Negan pacing around his room like he was overly anxious. Their eyes met intensely and Rick smirked. "What I feel scares me 'cause of how I lost everythin' before the end of the world. I never had the chance to tell Lori I was sorry and it still bothers me to this day. But my old life is gone and I can't change that. What I can do is take a step right now and be with you. I love you too, Negan."_

  
_"Close the door and come over here." Negan ordered in a playful manner rather than demanding. "You're staying here tonight."_

* * *

_Waking up in the morning next to Negan definitely wasn't a situation Rick thought would ever happen. Being fixated on the past and worrying played a hand in why he waited so long. Losing all that was familiar had been a shock to the system and Rick didn't know where he'd be without Negan. Most likely he would have joined a shitty group just to survive. Then he'd end up losing himself in pointless violence and the constant killing and death. With Negan he didn't have to struggle like that anymore. Not unless he wanted to give into his more violent impulses._

  
_Rick nuzzled against the older man's back which caused him to stir awake unexpectedly. Their bodies were so close together that Rick felt as if he was melting into Negan. He ached for his touch again, to feel the warmth of his lips._

  
_The older man turned over like he heard his thoughts then planted a soft wet kiss onto his lips. Rick's eyebrow quirked up at the feeling then he began kissing him passionately. His hands were exploring all over Negan's body from the muscles to his lanky legs that were entwined with his. The usually leather clad man had a lot of hair on his body and probably a lot in his more sensitive areas. Rick had never really been with a man before, at least not full on sex. When he and Shane were younger they experimented a little but never got past that. It had been a shame but probably for the best because Shane never settled down._

  
_An alarm went off that had Negan growling and beyond irritated, so much so that he got up, grabbed Lucille then smashed it. Rick suppressed the laugh that was bubbling to the surprise. Then when Negan looked over at him they both started chuckling. From there the chuckling turned into full blown laughter. to the point of Rick clutching his stomach._

  
_Once they both wiped away their tears due to laughing so hard they got dressed for the day. Negan insisted that they experience a real date later in the evening because they deserved that much. Of course Rick accepted without hesitation and they kissed before departing to do their daily duties._

* * *

_"Well...what the fuck should I do for him. I know I'm the one who brought it up but fuck! The last time I went on a date was fucking ages ago! C'mon Arat you gotta have some fucking tips. All these ladies you bag seem to enjoy their time with you." Negan winked which caused Arat to almost smile._

  
_Arat kept her composure and continued to watch the workers. "Sir, I think dinner would be a start. Ask him what his favorite food is if you don't already know it."_

  
_"What type of music should I play in the background? Maybe somethin' like Sade or Zeppelin, y'know one of their slower songs. Fuck, I suck at this shit don't I? You can answer honestly. I value your opinion Arat." Negan knew he was rambling and that she would be honest since he asked._

_"Yes sir, you do. He'll like whatever you do for him. May I return to my duties?"_

_"Damn right you can! What would I do without our little talks? By the way have you seen Simon? Has he been keeping out of trouble?"_

_Arat seemed unimpressed by the mere mention of Simon which said enough. "He seems to keep to himself but sir if you ever need me to take care of him, I will."_

_"I can always count on you Arat." Negan pointed out to the bad ass soldier then left to speak to the cooks._

* * *

_Several hours later once it was finally nighttime Negan found Rick so they could have their date. The younger man went to get dressed and freshened up for him while he prepped. The cooks were cooking up some pasta dish with meat they got from the Kingdom. Rick never seemed like the picky type, he even spoke of the times where he ate expired beans. And how it ended with him having the shits for the rest of the day._

  
_The two cooks who were able to escape the kitchen came up with a cart that had their dinner and dessert. Obviously they weren't a goddamn restaurant but the cooks did their fucking best. Which was pretty much the main part of their job description since it was the goddamn apocalypse._

  
_Setting up the table in his room took a lot longer than he really anticipated. Only because Negan wanted it to be fucking perfect for Rick, he wouldn't risk it being a shitty time. No matter what he prided himself on being a good date._

  
_Negan kept the dessert over in the corner on the cart and waited for the younger man. Not much time passed before Rick entered the room again wearing a different outfit than usual. He had his hair slicked back with dark jeans on and a white shirt alongside his usual boots._

  
_To him the man always looked fucking gorgeous all the time but today was different. With Sade playing in the background on the CD player he felt blown the fuck away by the moment. Negan encouraged Rick to sit down at the couches with him so they could eat._

_The meal tasted pretty damn good and they engaged in conversation outside of duties. Most days their conversations were never not about the Sanctuary or the Saviors. Having time where it could just be them. No one else was around to ruin the moment or send them into a frenzy. All that chaos that was outside the doors of the room weren't a problem._

  
_Negan asked Rick what he wanted for the future and whether that included them together. The question was loaded but Rick already knew that was who he was. And the answer to his question made him feel warm. Rick told him that he pictured a world where things were back in order. That he imagined they'd be next to each other through all of it._

  
_He casually reached across the table to hold Rick's empty hand. "Fuck. You blow me away."_

  
_"I can say the same for you, I know you don't think you're beautiful but trust me, you are. When I look into those eyes of yours I get lost, it reminds me of what autumn's like. Y'know?" Rick swallowed hard. "Warm and inviting."_

_"Do you wanna get married?" Negan let the words slip out without thinking. "Goddammit. I'm fucking sorry for that I was just -"_

_"Do you mean that?" Rick wet his lips absentmindedly._

_"What the fuck are we even waiting for? We waited for a goddamn year to have this and I know what I fucking want. I don't want anybody else, I don't even give a fuck what anyone thinks. All I know is what we are together is something fucking special. We can wait a few months to actually tie the knot if you want? Just so we can plan the damn thing but this is what I want."_

_"Yes."_

_Negan's eyebrows knitted together, "What? You're saying yes just like that?"_

_"Yes you idiot. I wanna marry you so I don't know give me a damn ring or somethin'." Rick looked like he was on the verge of tears._

_"Right right!"_

  
_It dawned on Negan that he hadn't really planned this but it was on his mind before Rick even got there. Negan searched throughout his whole room for some rings and found toy rings. They were some cheap shit Negan found on a run long ago and he kept them for some reason. He knew it was terrible this was the best he could do but oh fucking well._

  
_"I'm sorry, I'll have something better for you when I locate some rings." Negan got down on his knee near Rick. "Will you marry me, Rick Grimes?"_

  
_"Yes." Rick croaked before Negan got the ring on his finger with ease._

  
_"I wanna fuck you so bad right now but if you're not ready for that -"_

  
_"No, I'm ready, I want it."_

  
_Negan didn't care about doing it on the bed or making it some corny romantic shit. He'd been longing for Rick since forever and couldn't wait anymore. They embraced and almost knocked the plates over. Negan moved Rick so that he was laid out on the couch. He had lube on hand just in case this moment happened and got it out. Rick rolled his eyes when he saw the tube._

  
_As he unbuckled his belt he saw Rick seemed nervous so he touched him comfortingly. Thankfully that helped Negan get Rick more relaxed for what was coming. Negan slid his jeans down then his boxers, revealing his thick length._

  
_Then he told Rick to take his clothes off for him and watched him lustfully as he did. Negan stroked himself up and down, letting out deep moans. The younger man was down to just his briefs which Negan took off. Finally getting to see Rick fully naked in front of his was fucking glorious. How hot was his soon to be husband._

  
_"Do you really find me that attractive?" Rick asked like he was extremely embarrassed with the question._

  
_"Baby, you're fucking over the top gorgeous. I don't even deserve to fuck you but here I am with my dick in my hand. And seeing you naked like this almost makes me explode before the fun begins." Negan made space for himself on the couch between Rick's thighs. He lifted them up so he could kiss those bow legs of his and Rick whined._

  
_Since the couch wasn't comfortable they ended up on the floor before they got to the bed. Both of them were too damn eager which had Negan getting Rick's legs on his shoulders. His tongue found its way to Rick's entrance and began flicking along the rim. Rick squirmed at the feeling then stroked himself loudly for Negan. The noises were making Negan even more turned on. His tongue fucking got more aggressive which caused Rick to whimper._

  
_"Fuck I can't take it anymore!" Rick sounded breathless and exhausted. "Fuck me..please."_

  
_Negan could tell Rick was loosened up enough but asked him if he was prepared for it. That he wouldn't blame him if there was any accident or discomfort. He told Negan he figured that all out before he came. With that reassurance Negan moved and lined himself up with Rick's entrance. His leaking head was barely inside but Rick ushered him forwards. The moment he entered Rick he couldn't feel anything else, not even the pain in his knees from the floor. Each thrust was slow and steady so he wouldn't break the younger man._

  
_After a few minutes of fucking Rick overly slow he was encouraged to pick up the pace. Negan took that invitation and began fucking Rick harder without worry. And it made him feel like he was going to burst any second. When Rick wrapped his legs around his back he knew it was over soon. He definitely wasn't in his prime but he could go for a fair amount of time._

  
_He leaned forwards so he could give Rick a sloppy kiss with his tongue swirling inside his mouth. The building of pressure was overwhelming and Negan didn't know how longer he could hold it._

  
_Rick let out a high pitch whimper that he never imagined he'd heard from him. And that happened to be what sent him over the goddamn edge a few seconds later. Then Rick followed him. Negan collapsed on top of Rick who was sticky from his own cum. It didn't even matter, not even in the slightest._

  
_"Dessert is still on the tray if you want it once we get up." Negan mumbled against Rick's sweaty skin. "It's chocolate covered strawberries."_

  
_"Sounds good..once I gain feeling in my legs again I'll get them for us."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave me comments + kudos & maybe hop into my sideblog inbox @ rickbisexualgrimes.


	3. Disbelief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a long overdue update to this fic that is definitely on the shorter side but i have tried not to obsess over wordcount.

"Finding these assholes wasn't that hard now was it? They made it real fucking easy on us." Negan whispered while Rick straddled his lap and kissed at his neck.

 

  
"Definitely weren't as smart as I expected." Rick responded before moving off his lap. "We gonna go out there and introduce ourselves or are we just gonna kill everyone lined up out there?"

 

  
The thought had occurred to Negan that he could waste everyone that was out there right now. Except the main issue in that was if they had a large enough community otherwise. Killing a shit load of people in one community wouldn't benefit the Sanctuary. So being smart about who he got rid of was a top priority no matter what. If the decision were up to his husband then everyone would die.

 

  
Not that Negan would ever admit it but sometimes Rick's ruthlessness scared the fuck out of him. While majority of the time he felt relieved that he found someone who wasn't afraid to get bloody. Negan heard Simon talking and then two knocks against the RV door. He gave Rick one last kiss before stepping out to see who he was dealing with. Everyone on their knees looked like absolute messes. "Pissin' our pants yet? Boy do I have a feelin' we're gettin' close."

 

  
_What a sorry bunch of assholes_ he thought as he glanced at all the people in the line up. Rick came out of the RV shortly after to stand by his side and his presence didn't seem to rattle anybody.

 

 

  
"Yep..gonna be pee pee pants city here real soon. Which one of you pricks is the leader?" Negan pointed around to see if anyone would speak up and say if they were.

 

 

"It's this one. She's the girl." Simon gestured towards a very stunning black woman who seemed to show no fear. The boldness in her eyes said enough to him that she wasn't someone to fuck with. But he wasn't someone to fuck with either so they were at quite the impasse if he said so himself.

 

  
Negan wouldn't bend that fucking easily, "Hi, you're Michonne right? I'm Negan.

 

 

  
"And I do not appreciate you killing my men, also when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool. Not fucking cool. You have no fucking idea how not fucking cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed here shortly. Hell, you are so gonna regret crossing us in a few minutes. Fuck yeah, you are."

 

 

Scaring the shit out of these people was almost as fun as using Lucille. Almost. Negan already knew he had no intentions of killing Michonne. She would be the person to keep these people in check, to get them in line.

 

 

Negan could tell he got lost in thought because everyone was staring at him confused. He damn near dropped Lucille. "You see, Michonne, no matter fucking what you do not mess with the new world order. The new world order is this and it's really very simple. Even if you're fucking stupid, which you very well may be. You can understand it. Now I know that is a mighty big nasty pill to swallow but swallow it you most certainly motherfucking will."

 

 

 

He took a deep breath then continued. "You ruled the roost, you built something, you thought you were safe, I get it. But the word is out, you are not safe, not even fucking close. In fact you are fucked, more fucked if you don't give me what I want and what I want is half your shit. And if that's too much then you can go make, find or steal more and it'll even out sooner or later. This is your way of life now, the more you fight back, the harder it'll be. So if someone comes to your door, you fucking let us in, we own that fucking door. You try to fucking stop us,we will fucking knock that fucker down, you understand?"

 

 

 

Anger and fear was in the air but Negan was getting no response.

 

 

 

"What? No answer?" Negan side glanced at Rick who seemed amused himself. "You don't really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished now did you? I don't wanna kill you people, just wanna make that clear from the get go. I want you to work for me and you can't do that if you're fucking dead now can you? I'm not growin' a garden. But you killed my people, a whole fucking damn shit load of em', more than I'm comfortable with. And for that - well for that you gotta fucking pay. So now, I am gonna beat the holy fuck fucking fuckity fuck outta one of you."

 

 

  
Negan introduced Lucille to the group and explained that one of them would get the honor of dying. He strolled down the line up and stopped in front of a red head with a handle bar mustache. Negan ran his fingers over his own facial hair. "Huh, I gotta shave this shit."

 

 

  
A little ways down he stopped at some kid with one eye and a cowboy hat on. Once he got a decent look at him he almost felt like he knew him from somewhere because he looked familiar. Who the hell did this kid remind him of? Anyone that he knew from his former life was most likely dead.

 

 

  
Most kids would be shitting themselves or shedding a few tears yet this one wasn't. Whoever the hell he happened to be he was an actual bad ass. Definitely the type of kid that he'd love to groom into a Savior. After all he and Rick had been talking about kids and possibly adopting one. They wouldn't have to go through any adoption process so it'd be easy.

 

 

  
Negan almost got thrown by how this kid's blue eyes were almost identical to Rick's. He got down to the kid's level to address speak to him but there was no emotion on his face. "You got one of our guns, woah, you got a lot of our guns. Shit kid, lighten up, at least cry a little."

 

 

  
He gestured with his fingers for Rick to come over and get the gun from him. When his husband appeared at his side he noticed Rick's hands were shaking a little for some reason. In any other situation he'd comfort him a lot better but he did his best. Negan kissed his wet curls tenderly then asked him quietly if he was okay but Rick just nodded along.

 

 

  
That shit worried Negan but the sooner he killed someone, the sooner they could get back home.

 

 

  
One woman in the line up looked absolutely sickly like she was going to pass out. Negan directed his attention towards her. "Jeeeesus you look fucking shitty. I should just put you outta your misery right now."

 

 

  
The suggestion had one of the men screaming off the top of his head so Rick went over to take care of it. Negan got a kick out of watching Rick get the guy on his back then point his Colt Python in his face. That shit was so unacceptable, especially at time like this and that was cause for death right there.

 

 

  
What the fuck were these people thinking? That this was a goddamn joke?

 

 

  
"Nope. Nope. Get him back in line."

 

 

  
Rick dragged the man back to where he was supposed to be then ushered Dwight over to make sure he didn't move. The man that pulled that shit was pleading with Negan not to do anything. Negan got a light chuckle out of that but got serious again. "Alright, listen, don't any of ya do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions. First one's free, it's an emotional moment, I get it."

 

 

He went back to addressing Michonne who didn't look as brave as she had before. "Sucks don't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit."

 

 

Negan's brows scrunched together when he heard a voice from down the way talking.

 

 

"Dad? Is that really you? Please tell me it's you."

 

 

"Carl, please, don't say anything." Michonne turned her head so she could speak to whoever was talking.

 

 

"Just stop..you can't be alive..it ain't you." Rick was pacing back and forth all of a sudden like he was damn near close to a breakdown. "Negan, please make him stop."

 

 

"Honey, why don't you go sit down in the RV? You don't need to be out here, not like this." Negan suggested to Rick who just shook his head.

 

 

"I'm fine." Rick turned around so he wasn't facing the line up and was whispering to himself.

 

 

That was alarming but Negan couldn't go for an intermission, not now. 

 

* * *

 

Rick had to calm himself down or it would become a disastrous situation soon. There was no way that Carl was still alive and he had to think rationally about it. That kid could easily be someone else.

 

Especially since the last time he saw Carl it was quite some time ago.

 

He could hear Negan carrying on with choosing who he was going to kill but he wouldn't turn around. The violence wasn't going to bother him because he'd seen Negan use Lucille multiple times. What was bothering him was the kid insisting that he was his father which wasn't possible. Not even in the slightest.

 

  
Memories of Carl were flashing throughout his mind and he couldn't make them stop. Rick squeezed both his fists that he could feel himself leaving indents from his nails in his palms. He wanted to make himself bleed so he could focus on anything else.

 

  
Out of curiosity he finally turned so he could see who Negan chose and it was the red headed man.

 

  
"You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doin' that." Negan stated before lifting Lucille up high in the air and hitting the top of the man's head. "Look at that, taking it like a champ!"

 

  
Rick watched on as Negan kept smashing Lucille down on the man's skull. The other people in the line up were sobbing and breaking down from the bloody display of violence. This wasn't just a group of people surviving - this was a family.

 

  
The noise in the background was muffled but Rick still made out what Negan was saying. He mocked what the man told him before he got hit with Lucille once again. Normally Rick wouldn't get thrown by just anything so easily. But having that boy who looked so much like Carl talk to him was getting to him. He'd convinced himself long ago that Carl was most likely not alive. So why would he start testing that now? Why?

 

  
All of his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the sniffling and various painful noises made by the group. Rick had to focus on the task at hand because thinking too much only caused problems.

 

  
Soon enough Negan was calling him over for some reason that he had no idea about.

 

  
His husband held Lucille out to him with a maniacal smile plastered on his face. Rick took Lucille by the handle and cocked his head at Negan who just shrugged like he expected him to just know.

 

  
"What do you want me to do with her?" Rick tried not to sound too confused. "I don't really -"

 

  
Negan leaned down so he could whisper directly into his ear. "I was planning to hit the Asian kid but I think you should do it. These people need to fear you just as much as they fear me."

 

  
"I thought you said we were only killin' one of 'em?"

 

 

"This is only to further prove my point and they sure as shit won't see this coming."

 

 

Rick never got the chance to really play around with Lucille, she was the one thing Negan held so dear like she was the real thing, now he was given the honor.

 

  
So he did exactly what his husband requested. With all his strength he abruptly hit the top of the second victim's head. It caused the man to fall forwards immediately and he felt that thrill that Negan clearly did.

 

  
"Ha-ha-ha wow, ladies and gentleman, look at my fucking husband!" Negan howled proudly. "I'm definitely gonna reward him later."

 

  
Rick brought Lucille down on the man's head again and the group was reacting. Somehow he got to his knees again but his eye was popping out of his skull and he was blubbering. There was blood all over his face, dripping down his mouth and his head was caved in.

 

  
"Holy fucking shit! He took one hell of a hit but I think he's trying to speak. Goddamn his eyeball popped out and it's gross as shit."

 

  
"M-maggie I will find you."

 

  
The looks of pain on all of their faces was the exact reaction that was needed. This was all for them to fall in line as Negan would consistently remind him. Rick saw the kid's face and he seemed disgusted and heartbroken.

 

  
_He's not Carl_ he thought before Negan dished out some fake sympathy.

 

  
"Oh hell, I can see this is hard on you guys. What with my husband bashing in his brains and all. We are sorry, truly. But what did I say earlier?"

 

  
Rick remembered what Negan was referencing and got right back to finishing off the man. "No..." After a few more hits to the head, he was gone, without question. "...exceptions." Instead of stopping there he just kept going and going until he let out all his pent up frustration. Maybe the man didn't deserve to be so desecrated but it wasn't about that. Not anymore.

 

  
There was brains and blood splattered all over the gravel. It looked pretty damn disgusting if Rick was asked his opinion on that. This was why he would just use his gun - to avoid the mess.

 

  
Not like anyone was going to clean that up in the first place or anything.

 

 

"Holy fucking shit, Rick. You were fucking amazing." Negan gawked as he just found the cure for the bite. A moment later he had Lucille taken from his hands and a kiss was planted on his lips. He returned it without hesitation and then there was scrambling in the gravel. Someone was making light hush noises like they were trying to prevent anything further.

 

 

Rick pulled away from the kiss to go address the group that likely would declare war on them. He stopped the leader who was quivering, teary eyed but unafraid of whatever she presumed he'd do. "I'd advise against makin' any threats 'cause it never ends well. What just happened was necessary, it was to make sure you and your people stay in line. We're not the bad guys but we get shit done, we save people and that - that's gonna keep this world goin'."

 

 

The woman kept heaving hard but managed to spit out the words. "We'll beat you..we always find a way."

 

 

"Not this time. I don't know what type of threats you were dealin' with before but this is different. Take that in, process it and deal with it."

 

 

He got one look at the kid who had teary eyes and was glaring like it was personal for some reason.

 

 

"What is it kid?" Negan went over to address him instead and got on his knees like before. "You can speak now."

 

 

"What's your last name? You said he was your husband so what's your last name?"

 

 

"Normally I wouldn't answer a goddamn thing like that. But since you asked so nicely and since you're a little serial killer in the making, I will. It's Grimes."

 

 

The kid shut his eyes tightly from what Rick could see, which seemed like a reaction that you'd have if you were wrong. Only it didn't stop there because the boy whispered something to Negan that Rick couldn't make out.

 

 

It became too quiet and it had Rick worried about what was going on all of a sudden.

 

 

Negan got to his feet with a shocked expression on his face that he almost never showed anyone.

 

 

"What'd he say?" Rick asked softy before shaking his husband to get the answer. "C'mon just tell me what he said already. You don't look okay."

 

 

Negan swallowed overly hard, "He was right, Rick."

 

 

"About what?"

 

 

"He's Carl, he's your son."

 


	4. What Now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DAMN it's been quite some time since i updated this but that was due to a various number of things. 
> 
> i will try not to neglect this fic for so long this time, a lot of drama is ahead & this chapter definitely is a tidbit of what's to come. 
> 
> thanks for reading & please leave comments!

_"I think he's dead.." Rick whispered sadly while he and Negan laid down in their bed together. "Carl was never built for this world."_

 

_"Darling, you don't know that shit for certain. Unless you're psychic..are you psychic?" Negan lightly teased Rick just to lighten the mood._

 

_Rick shot him a playful glare, "I'm serious. I think Carl's dead and Lori and Shane. There's no goddamn way that everyone I once knew and loved is still alive."_

 

_"That's really fucking bleak but so is this world so I don't blame you for thinking that shit. I didn't really care about a lot of people even when the world was still going, I only had Lucille and in a way those kids I taught. Outside of that no one really invested their time in me. Some people would hang out with Lucille and I but they weren't people I'd trust with my life. In a way the world becoming the way it has brought more loyal people into my life. Not the people that are scared of me but the people that really are loyal.  Sorry, I didn't mean to make that about me."_

 

_"Honestly, I'm glad you did 'cause I hate thinkin' bout it too much."_

 

_Seeing Rick suffer with the possible loss of the people from his old life made Negan ache. He kept noticing how Rick flickered between hope for the future and then a complete absence of hope. It made Negan feel like absolute shit but he wouldn't tell Rick that because it would guilt him._

 

_They didn't talk for the rest of the night, instead Negan just held Rick close and hummed something by Led Zeppelin._

* * *

 

 

 _"_ There's no way..he's dead..I'm certain of that." Rick whispered to Negan who didn't seem as convinced as him. "Are you sayin' you believe him?"

 

  
  
"Rick." Negan sighed, exasperated. "Why the fuck would the kid lie? He's got literally no reason to lie to us right now. And he looks so much like you, right down to those icy blue eyes."

 

  
"How could he still be alive? Where are Lori and Shane? "

 

 

If the kid wasn't lying and he was Rick's son then they had a big goddamn problem. Negan really didn't want this to affect everything they'd built together or affect Rick's already rocky mental stability. Especially since Rick came to terms with their possible demises so long ago. This would only open up the wounds that he tried so damn hard to close. Negan was looking out for Rick and what they were still building at the Sanctuary. 

 

 

Negan told Rick to stay calm before he walked over to the kid "I'm just gonna take the kid and bring him to that RV to have a little chat."  He clutched the boy's tender arm and found he wasn't resisting. "Be right back fuckers."

 

 

The black woman with the locs was almost in tears seeing Negan take the kid with him. She probably thought he was going to do some disgusting shit like rape him but no fucking sir, he hated that shit.  Negan didn't want Rick to come so he made sure he stayed and waited for him. 

 

 

When he got the door to the RV open he urged the kid inside then told him to shut the door.  Since they weren't any fucking refreshments or anything in the hunk of shit he just sat down. He watched carefully as the boy sat down across from him at the table. 

 

 

"You better not be fucking lying to him. I got no goddamn patience for that shit and anyone who fucks with my husband usually ends up dead." Negan wanted to scare the holy hell out of him but it wasn't working. 

 

 

The boy crossed his arms like a regular fucking teenager. "Why would I lie? I know who my dad is."

 

  
"You'll have to prove that shit 'cause I don't take any fucking chances. And if you are his son I think you should come live at the Sanctuary with us. Rick and I, we live like fucking kings and don't take shit from anyone. If you do happen to be _our_ son it'd only be fitting for you to live with us."

 

 

"No." 

 

  
"Excuse the fuck outta me but did you just say no?"

 

 

"Yeah, I did. 

 

  
This kid had some big ass balls to be so dismissive like that, he seriously did, Negan felt impressed. Aside from how much he was in awe of the kid's bravery, this was going to be difficult. If this kid was Rick's son and if he was anything like Rick then that would cause friction.

 

  
Already from how he was behaving it wouldn't be easy peasy lemon squeezy. Negan didn't want to be selfish as fuck but he didn't want his life to change drastically. This kid would have to get used to their way of living. That was fucking that.

 

  
Besides what choice would he have if Negan put him over his shoulders. From the looks of it he didn't weigh that fucking much so he'd do it easy. One swoop and he'd be on his way with them to the Sanctuary.

 

  
Negan kept his eyes on the kid, "I don't think you fucking understand the magnitude of this situation. At fucking all. So I'll spell it out for you again - you're fucked. The way you and your merry band of idiots were living? Fucked. My hands have a solid grip on your community's short and curlies."

 

  
"You don't know who you're messing with either." Carl didn't even seem nervous and just kept blinking. "I'm not scared of you so stop trying to scare me."

 

  
"Jeeeesus, you're a stone cold motherfucker. Definitely not a weak fucking kid. I've seen some weak adults, people who would be shittin' themselves without even hiding it either. If you answer this question correctly then I'll fucking believe your claim."

 

  
"What?"

 

  
"What was the name of Rick's wife? First name only."

 

  
Without a lick of hesitation Carl told him flat out that it was Lori. He seemed to drift off after that and that indicated her demise was fucked up. Not unnatural considering the world they lived in.

 

  
"Goddamn. I can't fucking believe it. The son I always wanted and well this will make Rick happy."

 

  
"I'm still not coming back with you."

 

  
"Tough fucking titty, kid. You don't have a goddamn choice whatsoever in this case and there's nothing you can say -"

 

  
Carl clenched his fist that was rested on the table. "I'm not leaving any of them and I'm especially not leaving my sister."

 

  
"Your fucking what? Repeat that shit again for me." Negan wanted to make sure he heard correctly because from the sounds of it he said...

 

  
"My sister. It's not my dad's..it was..Shane's. I'm sure my dad told you about him more than once. He's dead now and my mom is too."

 

  
And the plot was already thickening.

 

  
"What else can you tell me?" Negan kept his cool, even though this information would end up causing Rick pain. "'C'mon, kid..you can't just leave me hanging like that."

 

  
Carl's face remained cold, "You're gonna tell my dad aren't you?"

 

  
"Yeah, I am."

 

* * *

 

 

When he saw Negan exiting the RV with Carl in tow he could tell the truth was revealed. Maybe Carl was alive and this whole time he thought he lost his only child. Rick noticed Negan wasn't as talkative, which was already a bad sign. Whenever Negan didn't speak it either meant he was shocked, pissed off or thinking. Possibly all of the above.

 

  
His husband didn't even verbally address him and only turned towards who was left in the line up. Negan explained to them that Carl was free to go home but that he'd see their sorry asses in a week. Then Rick felt himself being ushered away from the scene. He glanced back to see everyone breaking down worse than he'd ever seen. That could have easily been him if he'd never met Negan.

 

  
Rick didn't feel bad about what he did because it was necessary. That's what he always reminded himself whenever he got brutal, violent and abrasive. Necessary acts are almost never easy. Never. Something that Negan always taught him and never fails to remind him of.

 

  
They got into their own vehicle then made their way back to the Sanctuary. During most of the ride Negan kept to himself, hummed along to some song but nothing else. The eeriness of the silence was getting to Rick. And he had to engage in some way, especially after finding out that Carl was probably alive.

 

  
He undid the button on his jeans to get Negan's attention because sex usually worked. Negan peaked before focusing on the road once more then he groaned. Of course all it took was Rick barely undressing himself.

 

  
"Well? Was that Carl? Was he lyin'? I need answers, Negan. I can't sit here for the whole ride without 'em." Rick made sure he sounded extra defeated so Negan would talk.

 

  
Negan breathed out melodramatically, "Alright. Brace yourself for some crazy shit. I mean it, you're gonna flip the fuck out. Or at the very least you'll be shocked as fuck."

 

  
"I'm prepared."

 

  
"No you're fucking not. That was Carl and there's more I need to tell you. Carl told me that he's got a ...sister. He told me that Lori and Shane had a kid but there were complications with the birth. Carl was there while that one girl in the line up, Maggie, helped bring his sister into the world. She performed a C-section that ended up killing Lori. From there it was a shit show of events that lead them all to Alexandria."

 

  
The most cliche way to describe how Rick felt was that his stomach dropped. As terrible as it was, he let Lori go already, so that wasn't the pain he was feeling. The pain he was feeling fell into how his son was alive, how his son had a sister that wasn't his. That his best friend was dead and he never got to tell him certain things before he died. And his wife died in such a horrific way that it made dying by walkers seem less disturbing.

 

  
Rick told Negan to stop the vehicle right then which he did without any questioning. Once the vehicle came to a halt he scrambled for the door handle but got it open. He kept his seat belt on as he puked bile onto the pavement. The acidity made his mouth feel gross though he could stand it. Rick had been through way worse after all.

 

  
When he felt Negan's hand make their way across his back he let a suppressed sob out. Rick got the door closed then broke down in his seat which is when Negan unbuckled himself. All the Saviors had come full stop when they saw they weren't moving. No one dared to come tap on their vehicle's window either. He let out window shattering sobs into Negan's shoulders. That news was like opening up his stitches just when his wound was mostly healed. Rick wasn't holding onto Lori, he didn't still carry a torch for his now dead wife but he'd always hold a love for her. A love that made him ache so terribly knowing she died in front of Carl. Who would carry that memory with him until he passed himself.

 

  
Now it was almost guaranteed that Carl hated him for what he did to people that he loved. People that very clearly had a familial bond with each other. Judging by how broken the group seemed afterwards.

 

  
Rick managed to let out most of what he needed to. He assured Negan that he'd be okay for the rest of the car ride, which Negan hesitantly believed. They continued their ride back home in silence. Nothing could be said to wash any of that away because now Rick felt fragile again. Crying only helped so much and Rick knew that Negan wouldn't let him bottle it up. Even though Negan himself was the king of bottling things up.

 

  
Immediately when they pulled up to the Sanctuary gates Rick knew he'd need a drink. At least he had liquor accessible to him where as some people worked for theirs. Rick hopped out of the vehicle without waiting for Negan. Once the gate got opened he walked through and didn't look back at Negan. He kept walking and walking until he was out of earshot. 

 

* * *

 

 

Telling Rick had to be one of the worst and best things that Negan could have fucking done. Letting him know that his wife and best friend were not only dead but had a baby together had to be a gut punch. All of that information was a shit load to take in. So Negan would have to be patient with Rick for a while. Maybe allow him to have some time off from his regular responsibilities. Just so he'd have some time to process everything.

 

  
Negan ventured inside to find Rick because he could have fucked off anywhere. More than likely Rick went to their bedroom so he could have complete privacy, so he needed to check there first. Which got completely sidetracked when Simon caught up with him. Negan had no time for Simon's games or bullshit because that was probably what it was.

 

 

He encouraged Simon to hurry the fuck up with whatever the hell it was.

 

 

Simon kept his voice low and suggested they find somewhere more private to talk. That it was important business that he didn't want other people hearing or whatever the fuck. This was usually the time when he'd tell someone to fuck off but Simon was overly persistent. Negan walked off with Simon towards one of less busy hallways. Only one person breezed by them.

 

His impatience was clearly showing on his face and he was tapping his boot on the floor. If this happened to not be important then he'd be fucking pissed off. Even more than he already felt.

 

 

"What the fuck do you want, Simon? I have to go take care of some shit with Rick and it's pretty fucking urgent." Negan leaned Lucille against the wall to give his hands a break.

 

 

"Are you and Rick in a fight or somethin'?" Simon asked, almost smirking as he did.

 

  
"Why? Do you hope that we are so we can rekindle that spark you're still holding onto? After what fucking happened, what with you trying to kill Rick that one time, I thought you'd given up."

 

  
"That was a minor set back, a pathetic attempt to get him out of the picture but I know better now."

 

  
"Again I ask, what the fuck do you want?" Negan groaned impatiently.

 

  
"I just wanna know what Rick does for you that I can't. The guy is a mess and he's never gonna be enough for you. I used to be your right hand man until he came around and fucked that up for me. We had a good thing goin' didn't we?" Simon went to touch him but Negan backed away.

 

  
Negan glared hard at Simon, "I'm gonna pretend this conversation did't fucking happen..for your sake. I can't blame you for still being hung up on me but Simon, I'm with Rick. He's my fucking husband and that shit won't change. There's literally nothing you can do to change that. Now if you'll excuse me I got more important shit to take care of."

 

  
"Are you sure about that?"

 

  
"That sounds like a fucking threat against Rick so I should go to keep from killing you right now."

 

  
Negan swiped Lucille from where he placed her and stalked off in the other direction. He didn't know if Simon had the nuts to actually try some shit all over again. But he'd take care of that if it came down to that.

 

 

 

 

What Negan found when he finally got to their bedroom was Rick drinking on the floor. The look on his face showed so much pain and he wanted to take that away. Despite knowing he couldn't do much. Negan took off his boots so he could comfortably sit next to Rick on the floor. His husband didn't even spare him a proper glance and just kept drinking from the bottle.

 

  
All those nights that he spent drinking alone before he knew Rick were coming back to Negan. He'd think about Lucille, how the world was shittier now, how one wrong move could get him eaten and just so much shit. Now he had Rick to think about on top of all the other worries he had as the leader, as himself. He held his hand out because talking was pointless right now. Negan wouldn't be able to tell Rick anything that would make his pain disappear. Telling him that he loved him, that he would be there to talk, was shit that Rick already knew.

 

  
Rick placed the bottle in his hand without saying anything. He took it from him then nodded as to say that they could just sit there together. For the rest of the evening that was all they did. They passed the bottle back and forth until they got to the bottom of it. Which Negan stupidly got more of his personal stash out clumsily and poured it into the decanter this time. He fixed them both a glass of the tequila that he got from Gregory.

 

  
Eventually they were both too fucking drunk to reach the bed, so Negan crawled just far enough to jerk the blankets to the floor. His limbs were jelly and Rick looked like he felt the same. Negan cuddled up drunkenly beside his husband but noticed Rick was fidgeting. Why that was didn't become apparent right away, at least not until Rick turned over. The lust in his eyes was enough for Negan to know exactly what he wanted.

 

  
But he didn't want to give that to him right now.

 

  
Sex wouldn't make it all better and Rick knew that deep fucking down.

 

  
"So now you don't even wanna f-f-uck me? Am I too broken for you?" Rick drunkenly questioned. "F-fuck you."

 

  
"That won't help you right now. You know you could never be too fucking broken for me, Rick. I know that's just the booze talking. The pain you're feelin' is valid and I'd probably be worse off if I was you. Just know that even if this gets worse, I'll fucking be there 'cause I love you."

 

  
"N-negan, please, just give me this. I - I need it..the distraction."

 

  
Negan shook his head and that's when Rick got aggressive about it, he rambled on until his rambling turned to sobbing instead. "That's fucking right, let that shit out. I'm right fucking here."

 

 

"He hates me!" Rick choked out. "What if I've ruined it?"

 

 

"Don't say that shit, Rick. We'll get it all sorted out and he'll understand eventually."

 

 

"I don't think we will."

 

 

Maybe Negan was just saying that shit to make Rick feel better. That was a high possibility since he would do anything for Rick but somehow he believed Carl would come around. One way or another this would work out.

 

 

 


	5. You Can't Always Get What You Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MASSIVE thanks to genevievedarcygranger for encouraging me to finish this chapter!
> 
>  
> 
> this is a short re write of 7x04, obviously a fair amount was changed & taken out so hopefully it's enjoyable.

Negan always loved the element of surprise because that kept people on their toes. It proves whether or not they can handle or be prepared for just about anything. What he gathered from this group was that they planned shit out. These fuckers wouldn't be able to plan any surprise attacks. Which of course was a relief but it showed they weren't strong. They were only strong before because Negan wasn't around. Anyone else they may have taken down didn't have what it takes. So their cockiness lead to the deaths of two of their own. Two deaths that didn't even need to happen either.

 

Everyone probably thought of him as a monster, an evil motherfucker and just an overall asshole. One part of that was right but the rest was clearly assumption. Sure, he did bash two skulls in. But did their own actions cause him to have to do it? Yes.

 

That's what it took to be the baddest dog in the goddamn yard. And Negan wasn't going to let a bunch of pissy babies judge him for jack shit. Clearly they were capable of some crazy shit themselves. Especially considering how they slaughtered his whole outpost, killed a shit load of his men on the road and whoever else. So passing judgement his way was ill advised and hypocritical. Yes sir it fucking was.

 

These sorry motherfuckers didn't know what hit them when Negan and Rick showed up randomly. Originally they were supposed to show up after a week but spontaneity kept people on their toes. And Rick wanted to see Carl as well as his sister. Negan waltzed up to Alexandria's gates with Rick trailing behind him. Their Saviors were waiting in the back, armed and ready.

 

  
Negan whistled just to freak someone the fuck out. "Dun dun dun dunn." He banged against the gate as loud as he could manage. "Little pig, little pig, let me in!"

 

  
The person on the other side moved the gate covering or whatever the fuck over. Much to Negan's surprise it was just some brunette with a bewildered look on his face. He almost expected someone who was actually important was greeting him. And right away Negan knew this guy wasn't that that. In fact he looked like someone who wished he was important.

 

People like that always irritated him, not even just now but when the world wasn't full of the dead. Usually it ended badly for the other person and Negan almost felt he would end up killing him.

 

  
"Uh, who are you?" The man asked with a sense of obvious confusion.

 

  
How could these people not even reveal what the fuck happened? Unless they did and weren't clear about who he was.

 

  
Negan had Lucille on his shoulder and he turned to smile at Rick then back at the guy. "Oh you better be joking! Negan? Lucille? I know I had to make a pretty strong first impression."

 

  
Soon enough Carl approached with a lack of amusement on his face, especially when he saw Rick with him. Obviously this was going to cause problems within this arrangement. Not to mention how Carl clearly couldn't stand him.

 

  
Both the latina and Carl were standing there like they were prepared to do some shit. Negan admired that level of bravery and had no intentions of hurting either of them. So he made that much clear by smiling at them. Negan told Carl that Rick came along just to see him and his sister. That information didn't seem to sway Carl into behaving a bit nicer. Rick went to turn around to more than likely get in a vehicle and leave. Only until Negan stopped him and told him that shit was going to be okay.

 

  
Arat entered through the gate and didn't even wait for Negan to order them around. She was that intimidating and bad ass that she didn't even need instruction. All she needed was her gun and her overall presence. Which always scared people, men and women alike, into getting shit done. Negan took Rick's hand and breezed by Carl who was clenching his fists. At some point he'd have to be happy that Rick wasn't dead.

 

 

* * *

 

  
Exploring Alexandria was fucking awesome. The place seemed like the perfect place for a vacation spot for both him and Rick. A place where they could relax, fuck each other all day and drink spiked lemonade. That was the goddamn dream. To have a home away from home. Where they would still be the kings they are but be able to relax too.

 

 

The Saviors that tagged along were ordered to search the houses. Carl tried to object to that but he was told it had to be done regardless . Of course Rick told him to go easier on Carl because he was just a child. So Negan dialed it back a little and reminded himself of that fact. 

 

 

Negan continued to stomp around the streets like an asshole and everyone just stared. One person that stared a hell of a lot was that scruffy redneck. He used his finger to urge the redneck to come over so they could talk. At first he didn't listen but when Negan stopped smiling, he came over. The guy looked like he rolled around the goddamn dirt all the time. Not overly gross but still dirty for someone who could easily take a shower.

 

 

"I notice you've been staring at me quite a fucking bit. If you're interested, my husband and I have been talkin' about threesomes."

 

 

"You better leave the kid alone."

 

 

_Holy shit, these people are fucking bold._

 

 

"Mind your fucking tone with me." Negan leaned in close enough to make anyone uncomfortable. "Carl happens to be my step kid so he's off limits. But you or any of the other assholes around here? Fair fucking game."

 

Before he could make any other threats, someone came running towards them. It was that short haired woman who looked like she could knock his teeth in. Her face was determined and even more so when she got closer towards him. Negan was taken aback for once so he just stood there. The woman looked like she was ready to slap the taste out of his mouth.

 

  
And truth be told he would probably let her take a fucking swing at him. Even though he wasn't the one who killed her husband in the first place. Though Negan was more concerned about Rick who was standing in the background. He had been the one to bash the guy's skull in. Maybe encouraging him to do so that night was a terrible idea.

 

 

If anything were to happen he knew Arat would come running in their direction. And more than likely the short haired woman would be getting her brains blown out.

 

  
The woman got relatively close to Negan and snarled. "Take what you're gonna take and go. We don't need either of you here. And we don't want you here."

 

  
"As long as everyone cooperates today, we'll be on our way real fucking quick. But I gotta ask, what's your name? I gotta know."

 

  
Negan glanced down to see that she was clenching her fists. If she swung he would let that slide, only once though, the second time there would be repercussions.

 

 

  
"Maggie, and your husband killed my husband. Don't think for a second that I'm ever gonna forget that." Maggie stated firmly like it was a threat.The death glare she gave Rick before she left was bone rattling. Anyone would have been shitting themselves but not Rick.

 

 

"You know she's probably gonna try to kill me." Rick mentioned without any fear in his voice.

 

 

"If she does I'll destroy this whole goddamn community. These assholes won't know what hit them and if you died? Well let's just say Lucille would be the dirtiest girl alive."

 

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of the gun shot echoed which had Rick and Negan running towards it. Someone was firing their gun when they weren't supposed to. Probably one of the stupider people they brought along. Negan rushed into the house first and saw Carl pointing a gun at Davey and a few other people.

 

  
_What the actual fuck._

 

  
Even with their presence, the conversation didn't seem to detour. Carl was growling at them about taking too much medicine and that they should put it back. This kid was certainly like Rick right down to those stellar blue eyes. And the fact that he had no problems killing was a bonus. That meant he wasn't weak or sniveling like most kids his age would be.

 

  
He felt Rick tug on his jacket and he turned so he could ask quietly what he wanted. Rick told him to stop the situation before it got messy.

 

  
Negan foolishly walked over and stepped in front of Carl. "Put your gun down and we can discuss the shit that's got you so angry."

 

  
"I don't think so. He took most of our medicine and we already don't have much." Carl sounded desperate and frustrated all at once. "So get him to put it back."

 

  
In other circumstances Negan would have said no without hesitating. Almost no one even attempted to tell him what to fucking do. Yet there was Carl Grimes, his goddamn step son, telling him what needs to happen. He let out an irritated sigh and ordered Davey to put back half the shit he took. When Davey went to protest he told him to do it or else.

 

  
As Davey and the other guys went to put back the shit, Negan had a talk with Carl.

 

  
"If you had been anyone else there would have been consequences. More than likely I would have taken every last one of your guns. I presume you have a lot of them. So what I'm gonna do instead is take the guns that were mine originally."

 

  
"Okay."

 

  
Negan nodded along with a genuine smile on his face. "By the way you need to be nicer to your dad. He's not a goddamn monster and he really wants to rebuild his relationship -"

 

  
"That's not my dad, at least not really. Yeah, obviously this world changed him but whoever my dad was is gone. So as far as I'm concerned we don't need to talk. Unless it's about our tributes, I don't care what he has to say."

 

  
The kid left the room quickly before Rick or Negan could stop him. Negan could tell by the look on Rick's face that the conversation fucked him up. He wouldn't be able to tell him that it would be okay and more than likely it wouldn't be judging by Carl's words.

 

  
Some tears were coming down Rick's face but he wiped them away before anyone else could see. Normally Negan would be able to say something to Rick to tide him over. Though nothing was coming out and it frustrated the fuck out of him that he couldn't help. 

 

  
"We should go. I don't wanna be here anymore." Rick whispered before leaving the house.

 

  
For the remainder of their time in Alexandria, Rick didn't speak a word. All he did was walk around like a walker and it was distressing. Knowing how low Rick was feeling and how he couldn't fix it was tearing Negan up. He would fucking doing anything to fix it. Even for a brief amount of time.

 

  
They got their Saviors to pack up their tribute. Then at the last minute that stunning black woman made an appearance. She was carrying a dead deer on her goddamn shoulders. Reluctantly she dropped it on the ground when Negan made a stupid joke. Rick didn't even laugh like he normally would. He got a few of their Saviors to pick up the deer and load it into the back. They'd have a real fucking feast tonight.

 

  
Since Rick looked out of it, Negan made sure that he got into the vehicle with Arat. Surprisingly Carl was the one who met up with them at the gate to see them out. He didn't say anything other than "okay" when Negan said his Saviors would swing by again soon.

 

Negan got into the same vehicle as Rick and Arat then got her to drive off.  "When we get home you're taking a shower and laying down. No ifs and or fucking buts. Alright?"

 

 

Much to Negan's surprise even Arat tried to comfort Rick by briefly patted his shoulder. She didn't show emotions all that often but when she did it was brief but full of tenderness. Negan smiled to himself despite the circumstances and sat in silence during the whole ride.

 

He thought about the future and how this whole arrangement would end. Whether it would end in blood or not.  This group probably would prove to be a problem somewhere down the goddamn road. And Negan didn't want to go to war with Carl of all people. What he wanted was a relationship was his step son and for Rick to have a relationship with Carl again.

 

 

Unfortunately you can't always get what you want or need.

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Sing Us A Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i apologize for the delay in updates, i have had a lot of other things on my plate & then writing this chapter was slow moving. anyways, i hope to finish this fic before the end of this year! 
> 
> please enjoy my re write of 7x07 (i tried my damn best since a lot had to be left out) & leave comments!

How it fucking happened, Negan still didn't really understand. One minute he and Rick were dealing with some boring tribute shit, the next minute Carl was shooting people with a machine gun. Negan pushed Rick to the ground to keep him from getting shot. How Carl ended up in the back of one of the vehicles was one hell of a mystery. The kid was seriously more clever than Negan really anticipated for him to be.

  
Negan checked on Rick immediately to make sure he was okay and for the most part he was. Unless he counted the few scrapes from the gravel which were bleeding only slightly. Aside from that he saw several of his men were dead as door nails. If Carl were some random guy then he'd probably already be gunned down for that shit or brought inside as a prisoner. Suddenly Dwight had Carl on the ground and had taken the gun from him. There was a bit of a struggle but ultimately Dwight got Carl pinned down.

 

  
Since he didn't like the idea of hurting kids, he told Dwight to back the fuck off. Carl was still laying on the ground but Negan told him to stand up. While he was pissed the fuck off about his men, it was goddamn impressive. For him to sneak into the back of one of their trucks without a care. Then to gun down a shit load of his men with a fucking machine gun. That. was. impressive. He made sure that Rick was okay with what was going to happen next. And Rick just nodded with a shocked expression on his face. Negan didn't know where Lucille was though it wasn't really important. She would only get in the way and cause Carl to become defensive because of obvious reasons.

 

  
"You are adorable! To think you're my fucking step son and you've gotta be the baddest kid around. By the way did you pick that gun 'cause it looks cool? You totally did, right?" Negan peeked over his shoulder to see Rick still in shock. This was obviously a tough pill to swallow, something he couldn't fully understand.

 

  
Negan genuinely did want Carl to be apart of their lives willingly. How he could achieve that shit, he didn't fucking know, but he'd have to play the "cool dad" role. That's the only goddamn way to win a kid like Carl over.

 

  
And it would mean the world to Rick if he was able to get Carl on their side. Even if it was just him being neutral and completely wanting to kill them. The closer he stepped towards Carl was the more he looked defensive. Carl's fists were bunching and practically shaking out of anger. So he kept his distance because he would only allow so many thrown punches. With a charming grin he urged Carl to come take a tour his and Rick's home. The kid seemed extra reluctant though what other fucking choice did he have? They were relatively far from Alexandria and Negan wasn't in the mood to leave yet. Soon Rick was trailing close behind without saying a word.

* * *

 

 

All three of them stepped through the doors that lead to where Negan usually gave speeches. Negan wanted to impress the kid, maybe convince him they weren't so bad. Though Carl's facial expression said he didn't really give a shit. Which Negan respected too. Mostly he wanted Carl to understand that neither him or Rick were the villains. They were just two people who wanted to make the world safer. That was the whole fucking point of the Saviors and maybe consistently reminding Carl would make him see.

 

  
The power that Negan felt when he stood high off the ground, overlooking the community, was undeniably thrilling. He knew that Rick felt it too every single time. That rush of knowing you're the biggest and fucking baddest. Even if someone wanted to take your place, they couldn't even do it.

 

  
Negan brought Rick in close to him and gave him a comforting kiss. What he naturally expected was for Carl to make gagging noises. Instead he just seemed indifferent about it and that was probably more unsettling. He whispered to Rick that they'd win him over and for him not to worry. Despite how worrying was one thing Rick did way too well. Rick just sighed and nodded back for his response.

 

  
Without startling the kid, Negan leaned over to him and told him to "watch this". Then he walked forwards so everyone would notice him there. Everyone below knelt almost at the same goddamn time, they were literally so eager to please him. Sometimes it was irritating to have no one be honest out of fear. Then sometimes it wasn't so shitty because he wasn't questioned. Not all that often anyways. Unless he counted Simon who was constantly trying to be up his ass. metaphorically and literally.

 

  
All of his people were eagerly waiting for whatever he had to say to them. When in reality he didn't have anything new to say, it was just him putting on a show for Carl, and also for his own ego boosting.

 

  
"The Saviors have gone out into the world, fought the dead, and come back with some really good stuff. Some of that stuff can be yours if you work hard and play by the rules. Today everybody gets fresh vegetables at dinner, no points needed." Negan stated with much enthusiasm. Automatically the people in the crowd clapped at the news. Probably because canned vegetables that were passed their due date tasted like shit.

 

  
Negan faced away from the crowd to address Carl. "You see that? Respect. Cool , huh? They're still on their knees." He then faced the crowd once more. "As you were."

 

 

* * *

 

Showing Carl around the Sanctuary wasn't as exciting as Negan wanted it to be. For majority of the tour Carl acted difficult or said nothing at all. Rick tried to make light conversation with him but Carl wasn't having that shit. In fact he flat out ignored Rick and walked ahead. The kid was really something else, a little shit if anyone asked Negan. If it was all because Rick killed the Asian kid then that's a sorry fucking reason. Everyone fucking dies and Rick just sped up the process. Plain and fucking simple.

 

  
The only place they'd truly had privacy was Negan and Rick's bedroom. So that was the last stop in the tour because Negan had some questions for Carl.

 

  
No guards were around since they weren't going to sleep, Negan hoped Carl wasn't going to pull some shit, at least not in the confines of their room. Carl walked in first and asked them why they brought him there. When Rick went to respond to him, Carl faced to address only Negan.

 

  
"We brought you in here 'cause it's the only place where either of us gets peace and fucking quiet. No one comes in unless it's an emergency or unless we need somethin'. " Negan stated plainly before glaring at the kid. "Kid, you gotta be nicer to your dad. He's tryin' his goddamn best but you're making it extra hard for him to do jack shit. I know he killed that Asian kid - "

 

  
"Glenn! His name was Glenn, you asshole. He was family and you murdered him in front of us and his wife." Carl directed the latter half of the response towards Rick. His familiar blue eyes were almost darkening from anger and hurt.

 

  
"I didn't know him but what y'all did to our outpost couldn't go unpunished."

 

  
"You're not my dad, as far as I'm concerned he died in the hospital."

 

  
Negan could see Rick was on the verge of breaking down but held himself together. Surprisingly he didn't rush out of the room or fall for the bait like Negan expected him to. And it seemed like Carl wanted to see Rick turn into a monster. He wanted him to seethe and bare those sharp motherfucking teeth. Just to prove to the rest of the piss patrol how terrible they were. That much was fucking obvious to Negan at least. He told Carl to sit the fuck down and stop being a little asshole towards Rick.

 

  
"I know you hate me but your mother - " Rick tried to explain which unfortunately failed because Carl cut him off.

 

  
"My mother moved on from you and I'm glad she's not here to see this. And if you think I'm gonna let Judith around then you're an idiot." Carl snarled before going to sit down on one of the couches.

 

  
That sass reminded Negan of Rick so much that it was like looking at a mini him. Negan pulled Rick aside to tell him not to fall for the shit Carl was trying to do. Since it was more than obvious what was going on. And ultimately that would cause Rick to falter then he'd make a mistake.

 

  
After the pep talk they both joined Carl over at the sitting area. Negan and Rick sat on the opposite couch of Carl who was glaring. There had to be some sort of light punishment for him killing his men. That couldn't go unaddressed and Negan made sure Carl knew that.

 

  
"I want you to sing us a song." Negan suggested to Carl who seemed less hardened and more nervous. 

 

  
Carl looked stunned for a moment, "What?"

 

  
"You mowed down two of our men with a machine gun. I want something in return for that. Sing us a song."

 

  
The pleading look in Rick's eyes wasn't swaying him because the kid had been difficult all day. Negan felt like he was being the kill joy step dad and that wasn't who he wanted to be.  He hoped Carl would understand why this was necessary. Why anything either of them had done so far was necessary for everyone.

 

  
"I-I can't think of any." Carl stuttered and hung his head.

 

  
"Bullshit. What'd your mom used to sing you?" Negan mentioned without thinking and had Rick shaking his head. "What'd Rick play in the car ?"

 

  
Pressuring the kid would only make him get snippy so Negan gave him somewhat of a moment. There had to be a song that Carl could think of from when he was younger or just some random shit passing through his head.  Maybe bringing up his mother had been a shitty thing to do, especially with Rick sitting right beside him. Negan never had the chance to meet Lori but Rick never described her as a shitty person. What would Lori think of him being Rick? Would she see him as a terrible downgrade? 

 

Negan shook his head and focused on Carl again who seemed decided on his song. Nervously and almost too quietly, Carl began singing "You Are My Sunshine" which seemed to bother him. But it was the only punishment that Negan could think of. One that didn't involve anything fucked up happening to the boy. The moment Carl finished singing, Negan noticed he was crying and sniffling. He could feel how much Rick wanted to take Carl into his arms and comfort him. As much as he wanted to encourage that, it wouldn't be wise. Not with how emotionally fragile Carl looked and how easily he'd snap.

 

 

"Thank you, Carl. Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" Negan reached out to squeeze Carl's shoulder but the boy jerked away from him. "I see we still got a long way to fucking go. That's okay, we'll get there and maybe you'll even call me 'dad'."

 

 

That comment made Carl glare right up at him and he just laughed at the typical response. Rick didn't laugh but Negan noticed him smiling which made his heart warm momentarily. He let Carl know that it was a good time to bring him home. More than likely Michonne was worried sick and Negan didn't want to get caught in her cross hairs

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Hell in a Handbasket

Stepping onto the front porch of Carl's home made Negan feel uneasy. Every single fucking time he was skating on thin ice with these people. That in itself wasn't good for a long term agreement. Negan really did despise thinking about the communities revolting but it seemed like they could. Even though they'd fucking lose , they'd still try their little hearts out anyways. Though knowing how much stress it would cause Rick, he wanted to be on his best fucking behavior, even if it meant playing nice.

 

Negan tapped against the glass window with Lucille to get someone's attention. According to Carl it was highly likely that someone was home taking care of Judith. If Michonne wasn't home then he'd wait until she was. They needed to have a discussion about Carl and that shit couldn't wait.

 

  
Thankfully someone opened the door for them but it wasn't Michonne. It was a bigger lady with glasses who looked startled by him. He'd never seen this woman before so he had no clue what her name was.

 

Negan side eyed Rick who looked thoroughly exhausted by everything. He lightly regretted bringing him along just in case he did something royally stupid. And knowing himself he probably fucking would. Without any invitation to enter the house, he stepped in with Carl and Rick trailing close behind him. Negan started whistling his signature tune and he could feel Rick's eyes on him. Since he actually had relatively decent hearing he heard Carl whispering to the woman. Whatever it was didn't hold importance over what he was there for.

 

  
"Where's Michonne? We're here on important business and to bring Carl home." Negan fake smiled at the woman who was fumbling. He didn't know what the fuck she was trying to say. "Don't caaaree. Where's Michonne?"

 

  
"Uh, out scavenging for you." The woman responded.

 

  
"Cool. I'll wait."

 

  
"Um, she went out pretty far, they might not be back today. We're running really low on everything. We're practically starving here."

 

  
Deep down he knew that Rick would scold him for making dumb ass jokes. Between the two of them, Rick was a lot nicer and less of an asshole. It's why they complimented each other so goddamn well. And also it helped him not get murdered in his fucking sleep. Negan went wide eyed, "Starving? You? By practically you mean not really."

 

  
What Negan expected, well he didn't really know what he expected, but the woman burst into tears anyways. He didn't dare look over at Rick because he was likely disappointed in him.

 

  
"Really?" Negan scrunched his nose at Carl who was blank faced. "You people really don't have a sense of humor."

 

  
"Negan!" Rick hissed at him and motioned for him to apologize to the woman. "Do it now."

 

  
"I suppose if I don't then I probably won't get laid tonight. Right or wrong?"

 

  
"Right."

 

  
Childishly Negan rolled his eyes at his husband and turned to the woman again. She was facing away from him so he had to get her attention somehow. Negan asked what her name was and she responded angrily by saying "Olivia."

 

  
He reached out and touched her arm gently to get her to look at him. The way she flinched made him wonder if he was really that fucking threatening. Or maybe she just didn't like to be touched by assholes in leather. Olivia turned around and seemed more confused.

 

  
"Look, I'm sorry for having been so rude just now. It looks like we're gonna be here a while awaiting your fearless leader's return. So if you'd like, I think if my husband agrees to it since it wouldn't be the first time he's watched, it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out. I mean if you're agreeable to it."

 

  
Olivia didn't even tell him to fuck off, instead she smacked him in the face quite boldly. He shook it off and glanced back at Rick who was shaking his head. The embarrassment he clearly felt was noticeable. Negan made a mental note to fuck the hell out of Rick later.

 

  
"Y'know if my husband was in a better mood then -" Negan almost finished his sentence until Rick was dragging him backwards. "I think that's my cue to shut the fuck up. Olivia, would you be a lamb and make all of us some lemonade? I mean since we're the guests and I know I left y'all some of that good powdered stuff."

 

  
"Well, I'm not supposed to."

 

  
"Make it. Make it, take your time, make it good."

 

  
When Olivia practically ran out of the room, he knew he was going to get a stern talking to by Rick. This time he sort of deserved it for his dumb ass behavior. Negan tried to give Rick a kiss but a hand blocked him. "C'mon baby, we can find somewhere private and pass the time."

 

  
"No. We're gonna wait for Michonne and not do anythin' else stupid. Got it?" Rick didn't have any humor in his voice. "Please just don't."

 

  
Negan briefly looked over at Carl, "Your dad's good for me 'cause otherwise I'd probably make this whole thing worse. Fine, Rick, I'll be as good as I can be. Now it's time for Carl to take us on the grand tour."

 

* * *

 

 

  
The grand tour consisted of Carl showing him everything there was to see. Negan found himself fascinated by the carpets, the running water and how homey the place was. Negan didn't blame anyone for wanting to keep shit to themselves. Obviously Carl was happy there but it would mean a lot to Rick for him to live part time with them. Even though the Sanctuary wasn't the best place for kids.

 

When Negan got to a specific room, Carl was reluctant to show him what it was but he barged in anyways. Once he entered he saw the most perfect little angel there. She had to be Judith. With a soft voice he encouraged Rick to enter the room too. Rick stepped forwards despite how Carl clearly didn't want him to. They both ogled at little Judith who was so oblivious.

 

Negan gave Lucille over to Carl who seemed surprised. It was a bit irritating for him to think that Carl presumed he'd hurt children. She wasn't biologically Rick's but it had to be special for Rick to see her. Especially since she was connected to Lori. He picked her up out of her crib without a single fuss. From what Negan could tell she was comfortable in his arms. He would love to adopt her but that shit was never going to happen.

 

  
When he handed her over to Rick after a few minutes, he told him it was okay, that he didn't need to hold her. Negan insisted that she did but Carl intervened. Clearly he was serious about Rick not ever knowing her. The sadness on Rick's face was too damn difficult to witness. This was the one other chance that Rick could reconnect with Lori. After all he'd been through, Negan thought he'd be allotted this one thing.

 

Apparently not.

* * *

 

 

Rick made some half ass excuse that he needed some air. He made sure to hold back his tears long enough for Carl to not see. When he was out of plain sight he broke down at the bottom of the stairs. Rick stifled his sobs into his hands because otherwise he'd be wailing. There was a bit of yelling coming from the room so he scrambled to his feet. He made his way outside and sat in one of the chairs on the porch. Some of the Alexandrians were walking by and staring at him strangely. Rick hissed at them to keep it moving, which they did.

 

Sometimes when he thought of Lori he'd tell himself she moved on. That she went ahead and had a baby with Shane. Which was enough to make him stop thinking about her or missing her in a simple way. She would have made him soft for this world and he knew that. Lori was tough but he wouldn't have become stronger with her. And it wasn't that Negan didn't make him feel happy or loved. Rick knew that Negan truly loved him and that he felt the same thing. It was only the past and how much it ached seeing Carl again. Now he was meeting Lori's child for the first time but couldn't hold her. Rick wiped his eyes away when he heard the front door open.

 

  
As much as he hoped it was Carl coming to apologize, it was only Negan coming to comfort him. Rick let Negan in the chair beside him so he could hold his hand. In the doorway was Carl with Judith in his arms.Rick didn't know what the hell was going on until Carl handed her over. This was likely Negan's doing somehow but it didn't matter.

 

  
He tried to look at Carl to make sure that it really was okay. But Negan told him that he gave the kid a talking to so it was fine. Regardless of what that meant, Rick was grateful Negan got some sense into him.

 

  
It had been some time since Rick held a child but it felt so natural. Rick stared at Judith's face and could see Shane in her eyes more specifically. Tears were starting to come again but he held back. Negan made silly faces at Judith and she laughed slightly at his antics. Then after a few minutes Carl told them it was time for Judith to lay down. Reluctantly they agreed to let Carl take her back inside.

 

  
"I worked a goddamn miracle to get that kid to give in. He's stubborn as fuck but I told him to be nicer to you. After all the shit you've been through, you deserve to at least meet the little angel. She was and is Lori's daughter so that counts for somethin'." Negan squeezed Rick's hand tighter and smiled. "Hopefully Michonne gets her ass back here soon."

 

  
Rick cleared his throat, "What are we gonna say anyways? Carl won't come to stay with us, only if we force him. And I don't think that's a good way to get in his good graces."

 

  
"I know how to talk, Rick."

 

  
"From what I can tell Michonne doesn't take anybody's shit."

 

  
"Imagine you two together, you'd be pretty goddamn unstoppable."

 

  
"Yeah but I'm with you and I don't need anybody else."

 

  
For a moment it felt like they weren't the leaders of a brutal group of people. They were just two men who had survived so much and had each other. Rick couldn't imagine his life without Negan, the man he loved.

 

* * *

 

  
Having a shit load of their Saviors come would have been a better idea in the first place. Instead Negan only made sure that Arat and a few others came along. They were ordered to walk around the community. It would keep people in line and would ensure he wouldn't get assassinated.

 

  
Negan didn't know why he agreed to play pool with some douche bag. But there he was playing pool with some guy named Spencer. The guy even offered him some fancy as fuck liquor, so he couldn't turn that down. What irritated him was that he didn't offer Rick any.

 

  
So that was essentially strike one and the way Spencer practically sneered at Rick.

 

  
Strike two was when Spencer pretended like Rick wasn't even there. Then when he was talking about getting rid of Michonne, who happened to be important to the kid, that got his blood boiling.

 

  
"I get what you're trying to do here." Spencer began explaining before Negan corrected that it was him and Rick. "Fine. I get what you and your husband are trying to do here. What you're trying to build. I'm not saying I agree with your methods but I get it - you're building a network, you're making people contribute for the greater good. Makes sense. But you should know that Michonne has a history of not working well with others."

 

  
Every damn thing coming out of Spencer's mouth sounded like bullshit. Negan didn't trust what he was saying and could tell what he was angling at. People like Spencer were the types not willing to get their hands dirty. So they would come to people who actually got shit done. From the looks of it Spencer didn't know a damn thing about being a leader.

 

  
Negan just hummed and pretended to give a shit. "Is that so?"

 

 

"Michonne wasn't the original leader here, my mom was and she was doing a really good job of it. And she died not long after Michonne showed up. Same with my brother, same with my dad."

 

  
"So everything was peachy here for what? Years? Then Michonne shows up and suddenly you're an orphan? That is the saddest story I've ever heard. Good thing for you she's not in charge anymore."

 

  
While Negan took a sip of his drink, Spencer continued on about how Michonne's ego is out of control. How she would find a way to screw shit up for everyone. Negan knew what was going to happen next. More than likely Rick could smell it from a mile away. And while he did say he wouldn't do shit - he had to handle this. This guy had to fucking go but it was a matter of when.

 

  
"What exactly are you proposing be done about that?" Negan wasn't even quiet with the question he was asking.

 

  
Spencer looked him dead in the face and carried on with his bullshit. "I am my mother's son, I can be the leader she was. That's what this place needs, that's what you need."

 

  
"So I should put you in charge? That what you're saying?" Negan took a mighty swig of his drink and didn't take his eyes off Spencer. This guy was a fucking idiot for even suggesting that shit. He gently set his drink down because he couldn't do anything with his hands full.

 

  
"We'd be much better off."

 

  
Negan inched closer and closer to the guy who clearly thought he was tough shit. "Y'know, I'm thinkin' Spencer. I'm thinkin' how Michonne clearly hates my guts but she is out there gathering shit for me. All so I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here. She is swallowing her hate and gettin' shit done. That takes guts and then there's you. The guy who waited for Michonne to be gone so he could sneak over and talk to me and get me to do his dirty work. So I gotta ask - why not just kill Michonne yourself and just take over?"

 

Just like Negan expected, Spencer tried to babble and explain himself but it was too damn late. Negan had his Bowie knife ready to go. Of course from Rick's expression he was telling him not to. But Negan was going to do it anyways. "You know what I'm thinkin? 'Cause I have a guess. It's because you got no guts."

 

  
Without even a second thought he plunged his knife right into Spencer's gut. There were a few gasps in the crowd but he sliced the guy open like a turkey. His guts were in his fucking hands like something out of the movies. And if Negan was being honest he was having a blast. Rick rushed over to him and ripped the knife from his hands. The disappointment in his eyes would fade eventually.

 

  
Everyone was standing around staring and he just chuckled with blood all over his shirt. Spencer dropped to his knees and then to his side with his guts in his hand.

 

  
"How embarrassing! There they are! They were inside you the whole time, you did have guts, I've never been so wrong in my whole life." Negan put on his most charming smile for everyone. "Someone outta get up here and clean this mess up."

 

  
"We need to go right now." Rick whispered right next to him. "I can just tell someone is gonna try somethin' and they'll be justified."

 

  
"Baby, the fun's just gettin' started, I promise."

 

  
The one woman in the front of the crowd looked like she seething. Negan remembered her from the line up and could tell she was looking for blood. Maybe he just killed her boy toy or whatever the fuck. Either way she looked ready to kill him. Which is when she pulled a gun out and aimed at Rick then pulled the trigger. 

* * *

 

 

Thankfully the bullet missed Rick's face by an inch but Negan was seeing red. Before he could stop his husband from doing anything else, Negan reacted. He was almost screaming and that's when Arat choke slammed her to the ground.

 

  
Rick tried explaining that he was okay and it didn't even touch him. But apparently that wasn't enough and Negan wasn't going to listen to him. So he stood by as Arat cut her face up slightly per Negan's instructions. There were only a few cuts on her cheeks which didn't seem to suffice. Rick stopped Negan from saying that Arat should gut her in the street too. Everyone standing around seemed either scared or disgusted. This was undoubtedly the stupidest thing Negan had ever done. And that was saying a lot when it came to Negan's decisions.

 

  
Rick announced that they were leaving just as Michonne came running towards the scene. They locked eyes and she was shocked then pissed in the span of minutes. This would likely be the nail in the coffin. She would probably not let Carl come around or let alone have Rick see Judith. He didn't even blame her if it really was coming to that. After what Negan did she probably didn't want to see them again.

 

  
She didn't bother telling Negan to get the fuck out or tell him what she found. Rick apologized to her quietly as he dragged Negan alongside him. The Saviors that came along followed suit. Whatever was going to happen next wouldn't be good and Negan was to blame.

 


	8. Fallout

Knowing how angry Rick was left Negan feeling so desperate and vulnerable. Those were two things he didn't like to acknowledge about himself. That he could be really desperate when it came down to it. Lucille saw it first hand when he prayed that the universe take him instead. She told him that desperate prayers wouldn't save her and he didn't listen.

 

For five days Rick avoided speaking to him directly. Instead he got Simon who was more than happy to be alone with him. Negan didn't even shut down Simon's flirting. He was that exhausted with Rick's anger and disappointment in him. Even though his husband had to know that killing Spencer was the right move. Deep down it was what needed to be done. People would see that eventually then maybe they'd calm down.

 

  
While Simon spoke to him about important shit, he got lost in thought, which caused the man to get confused. And it lead him to do something he hated doing with Simon - talking about Rick.

 

  
Much to Negan's surprise, Simon didn't act like an asshole and actually listened. By the time he was done venting he felt so much release. It 

 

  
"So your hubby is all pissed 'cause you killed some asshole? He gets on your ass too much about shit and you know it's true. No offense but it's one thing I don't like about him." Simon mentioned nonchalantly.

 

  
Negan didn't even feel irritated with Simon's comment and that in itself was dangerous. "As much as I love Rick, sometimes I fucking wish he wasn't so tightly wound. If they declare war on us - we'll fucking tear right through them. Who the fuck is gonna come after us? A bunch of fucking farmers , hicks and drama club rejects? Rick's just paranoid for no damn reason. And even if he is right it will end quicker than it begins."

 

  
"Damn right it will! We've got a solid group of soldiers! Y'know I miss talking to you, I really do. We gotta have a few drinks sometime like we used to."

 

  
"That'd be nice. Hopefully you can grow to like Rick and at least be a bit more civil."

 

  
"Well, I don't know about liking the guy but I can try to be more civil." Simon patted Negan's shoulder. "I gotta head out and get shit taken care of around here. See ya later."

 

  
Negan watched Simon walk back inside the factory but didn't follow suit. Looking at the walkers that guarded their home was almost soothing for him. It reminded him of safe they were for now and that nothing could even happen.

 

* * *

 

  
Avoiding his husband had been the best course of action for Rick. What he did at Alexandria stirred things up in a way they didn't need to be. Rick lost a bit of trust for Negan that would take time to repair. Not just because of the actual event but what will likely happen due to it. He knew for a fact that Michonne would keep Carl and Judith from him. And she had every right to because she'd been raising them.

 

  
Who the hell was Rick to either of them anyways? Judith wasn't biologically his and she barely knew him. Then Carl had been separated from him for so long.

 

  
Rick was pulled out of his thoughts when he bumped into someone. Being deep in thought made Rick a bit more clumsy than usual. The cologne on the person smelled familiar and that's when Rick realized it was Simon. He grimaced because he thought Simon would make some joke. It wouldn't really surprise him all that much if he did.

 

  
Awkwardly Rick said hello and Simon responded back with the same.

 

  
"So I spoke to Negan earlier, he's pretty shaken up about you not talkin' to him. But I'm here for him and he knows that. Just thought I'd let you know." Simon's smirk wasn't friendly and they both knew it.

 

  
"Tryin' to make moves on my husband again? Seems a bit pathetic don't you think? Especially when he has no interest in you anymore."

 

  
"Has he told you that directly or is that what you're presuming. Don't forget that before your perky ass got here things were different. Maybe you should fuck off to Alexandria and be with your boy."

 

  
The way Simon was speaking was threatening but Rick wouldn't allow himself to be scared. If all else failed he'd kill Simon if he had to. Simon didn't spare him any other words but immaturely bumped into his shoulder when walking away. Under his breath Rick called Simon an asshole. They would never not be at odds and that was a reality that Rick accepted.

 

  
Rick ended up finding Negan outside completely alone. For some reason Negan was standing at the gates, staring out at the walkers, and not even moving. He slowly approached his husband to keep from alarming him too much. And since Negan wasn't telling him to leave him the fuck alone, he stood quietly beside him.

 

  
After a minute or two he decided to speak up. "For the record, I don't think you're a bad leader."

 

  
The brief pause made Rick wonder if it was necessary for him to bring that up. Maybe Negan didn't need to hear that specifically right now. But he couldn't give Negan what he wanted and that was pretending nothing happened. Or that nothing was wrong at the moment.

 

  
"Yeah, well, husband's a different story." Negan sniffed like he was holding back tears. "For better or worse, right? I mean what are we gonna do? Hire lawyers and get divorced and split our assets?"

 

"We're not gettin' divorced, Negan. I'm just disappointed in how you handled everythin'. That bloodlust that you have causes us more problems than we need. And don't tell me you don't ever enjoy the violence. That'd be a lie and I don't think I can handle you lyin' to me right now."

 

  
"You say this now but I know that you want more space. Not even just 'cause you've avoided me for almost five days. It's just in the way you're acting and I gotta say it fucking sucks. "

 

  
All that Rick wanted to do was kiss Negan and let him know they'd be okay. Unfortunately if he did that then they'd wind up doing more. And being physically intimate would cloud all his judgement. That's just the way the cookie crumbled. So he settled for putting his hand on Negan's shoulder. The way he leaned into the touch made Rick's heart ache.

 

  
Rick let his hand fall away from Negan's shoulder. "We need the space to figure out all this shit and to prepare for a possible war. A war that you've possibly triggered with your decision making. I'm not sayin' that they didn't want us gone prior to this. But you had a hand in possibly propelling it forward. I usually stand by you but this time I just can't. "

 

  
"That sounds exactly like what I'm fearing."

 

  
"What? What are you fearing?"

 

  
"I'm scared that you're pulling away from me and that you won't come back. I can't even fucking blame you if you don't either 'cause it's my fault."

 

  
Before he could reassure him, Negan turned to walk away from the gate and didn't wait up for him. Rick felt a tear make its way down his cheek and then another. He didn't bother wiping them because they just kept coming.

* * *

 

 

Another week came and went pretty fucking fast too. Negan and Rick didn't speak much other than to discuss the war. The one that likely wasn't coming because there'd be no word. Instead of taking shit from Alexandria, Negan went to the other communities and asked for extra. Since Gregory was a kiss ass he made sure everyone cooperated. Mostly he provided them with extra bottles of liquor. The good shit as Negan liked to say.

 

  
Eventually it turned into a month of not even sleeping in the same room as Rick. According to Arat he was sleeping in one of the empty rooms. A room that was left over from a Savior that died because of health problems.

 

  
Occasionally Negan slid a note underneath the door of the room. At night he hoped Rick actually read the notes. Mostly they were saying he missed him in his bed. One note even detailed what he missed. Another note was written after he got wasted with Simon. Mainly because he felt guilty about letting Simon touch his leg. And how Simon actually kissed him but he didn't kiss him back.

 

  
The tension he felt from Rick when he saw him the next morning was insane. It was like Rick wanted to knock his teeth in for allowing that to happen. Or maybe he'd snap his legs like twigs. That was only if Rick lost his goddamn mind.

 

  
A few days went by after the note which is when shit really blew up. Negan saw Rick walking in his direction only to walk by him. He paid attention to where Rick was headed and it was towards Simon. What was about to happen wouldn't end well at fucking all.

 

  
Negan couldn't get there in time and that's when Rick jumped at Simon. Both men got into a scrap on the gravel and there was dust everywhere. The people around them didn't both breaking up the fight either. More than likely do to the fact that Rick was important. A few people were actually encouraging Rick to beat the fuck out of Simon.

 

  
As Negan got closer he demanded everyone move out of the goddamn way. When he got close enough he got a hold of Rick and tried to pull him away. Unfortunately he lost his grip and Rick swung his fist at Simon's smug face. What made it fucking worse were Simon's words. They were clearly just to get him riled up because they weren't what happened.

 

  
"I know what happened!" Rick yelled at Simon who was still smiling. "Don't even try to lie to me right now."

 

  
Simon let out a breathy laugh, "You're one stupid motherfucker, Rick. I wish Negan could see just how stupid then maybe he'd leave your ass. He's been the way he is long before you arrived. Now you think you can change him. Grow up."

 

  
"He's my husband and not yours. So stay the fuck away 'cause you don't wanna know what I'll fuckin' do."

 

  
"Bring it on, pretty boy. "

 

  
"I'm shutting this down right the fuck now! Everyone else get the fuck outta here and back to your goddamn jobs. This isn't naked mud wrestling or some shit." Negan growled at everyone which made them disperse.

 

  
The moment everyone else was out of ear shot, Negan told them both firmly to stay away from each other. He was saying it mostly for Rick's sake because Simon would kill him. Even though Rick was brutal when necessary - he probably wouldn't take it there. With Simon that was a whole other story and they both knew it.

 

  
Simon stood there with a look on his face that made Negan want to punch it. "Whatever you say, boss."

 

  
"Yeah, it is whatever the fuck I say. You know damn well I didn't kiss you back. So stop torturing Rick with the shit that happened that night."

 

  
With a scoff Simon stomped off like a goddamn child and Rick just stared at the ground. Negan tried explaining everything that he remembered. And that he was sure nothing happened because he'd remember. Then it hit him that some part of the night was blacked out. What he last remembered was pulling away from Simon and then later falling asleep alone. Nothing in between all that was coming back to him.

 

  
It looked pretty damn terrible and did nothing in the way of them reuniting. In fact it likely set things back to the point of no return. Negan saw Rick struggling to stop himself from crying. When he reached out to Rick, his hands were slapped away, and he blinked in shock. Even when Rick had been extremely angry at him, he usually allowed him to reach out.

 

  
No words were exchanged before Rick strode off either. All he did was shake his head like he expected this shit to happen. If Negan was being honest that stung the most. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to calm the feeling that was digging its nails in.

 

* * *

 

Chaos erupted in the Sanctuary when someone broke in later that evening.

 

Before Negan even saw the person he knew it was an Alexandrian. They were the only community bold enough to even do that shit. When he was escorted to the scene he recognized her from the line up. Her dark eyes were full of anger and her brown skin was trembling. It all came back to him how she reacted to Red's death. Everything made that much more sense now.

 

  
Negan didn't bother giving any big speeches because he tired as fuck. Not to mention there wasn't much he felt like saying in front of everyone. Since killing her on spot wasn't going to happen, even though it seemed she wanted that, he made sure she was taken away. Putting her in one of the rooms over night would help clear her head.

 

The shit show didn't seem to wake Rick up or he just didn't care what was happening. So Negan told everyone to keep it on the hush until he woke up.

 

* * *

  
"What the hell is it, Arat? If this is about Negan then tell him I don't wanna see him." Rick yawned and stretched his arms out wide. "Unless you're here for somethin' else entirely."

 

  
Arat nodded soldier-like, "Someone broke in to kill Negan. She's someone from Alexandria and he wants you to come with him to talk."

 

  
"Was he hurt? Did anythin' happen to him?"

 

  
"No. We took her down before he could get shot."

 

  
"Alright, uh, take me to them."

 

  
Rick was lead down to one of the 'punishment rooms' and saw Negan standing outside of it. Anything that was going on between them wasn't important. Not now. So he shoved it down for the sake of getting to the bottom of the situation. Arat left shortly after leading him to the room. They were alone together and it was ample opportunity to talk.

 

  
Nothing seemed to come out of Rick's mouth so he didn't bother. Instead of talking about their marriage they discussed the woman. She apparently came in with a gun and didn't have anybody else with her. None that Negan or anyone else knew about.

 

  
This said to Rick that a war was indefinitely coming.

 

  
They spoke briefly about what they were going to say to whoever she was. And Negan explained that they'd get information out of her. Whatever was going at Alexandria she had to know. Resorting to torture wasn't necessary though. Since it rarely produced any decent information. People usually told someone what they wanted to hear. Just to make whatever pain was being inflicted stop.

 

  
Rick opened the door and the first thing he noticed was how brave she looked. The woman didn't display anything less than bravery. Maybe she suspected they'd kill her now and take her head to Alexandria. It wouldn't be the big of a stretch to make that assumption. But Rick assured her that they were there to only talk. She just stared blankly at the both of them.

 

  
"So, what's your name?" Negan charmingly asked the woman who kept staring. "I'd say it was Total Bad ass but that's just me being clever. "

 

  
The woman didn't find that amusing but still responded to the question. "Sasha. My name's Sasha."

 

  
"Alright, what can you tell us about Alexandria? They planning a war or is it just you coming in like a one woman army? Hm? I personally think they're too chicken shit to declare war. Unless you're the messenger for the information."

 

  
"Why would I tell you anything? You're gonna kill me anyway so what difference would it make?"

 

  
Rick could see that she was prepared to die and it made him soften. "We're not gonna kill you. All we want to know is if the other communities are coming for us. You could make this whole thing stop and then nobody from your community has to die. I definitely don't want my son dying so please just tell us."

 

  
"I can't stop any of them. Maggie, she wants to kill you for killing her husband. She won't stop until she gets the chance to kill you herself. Trust me." Sasha didn't display any sympathy for him. And for once Rick didn't blame someone for wanting him dead.

 

  
"Thank you for letting us know that information. We'll be back with some food and water for you."

 

  
With a smile Rick shut the door to the room Sasha was locked up in. Much to his surprise Negan didn't interrupt him once when he spoke. "I'm surprise you let me speak at all."

 

  
Negan's brows furrowed, "Seriously? You're gonna get into a fight with me right now? We've got bigger fucking fish to fry at the goddamn moment. These pricks wanna go to war? We'll give them a war."

 

  
"We gotta be more rational than that. You really wanna go over there right now and just start shootin' people? Or blow them up? What about Carl or Judith? Even Michonne? I know they don't care what happens to us but Carl doesn't deserve to lose anymore family."

 

  
"So what do you propose we do? Talk like civilized assholes? That shit won't happen and you know that. Michonne will blow my head off before she talks to me. Actually, no, Carl will probably do it."

 

  
Back a forth they argued about what the best course of action was. Calling a truce wouldn't even seem realistic. They would think it was a ploy and not an actual truce. No one on the other side trusted the Saviors and who could blame them? Negan and Rick had ruined any good standings.

 

  
Negan eventually decided that they just should show up there with Sasha. She was obviously important to them because she was one of theirs. Unless she meant nothing and they'd let her die right in front of them. "I'll go find Arat and we'll get some of our Saviors together. We're not bringing everybody but we'll bring enough just in case."

 

  
 

"I hope you're right about this otherwise this is gonna be a disaster." Rick gave Negan once last look and headed the opposite direction.

 

* * *

 

 

On the drive to Alexandria they didn't say one word to each other. Not even to discuss strategy and it was a sign they were reaching a deadly point in their relationship.

 

Negan didn't want to admit it out loud but Rick seemed done with him. He couldn't remember the last time they touched, kissed or even spoke without tension. Everything in Negan felt something fucked up was going to happen.

 

They had Sasha in a coffin for a show of dramatics, she was given an MP3 player to listen to for the drive, which was his idea. Negan made certain there were enough holes to be able to breathe. Unless she panicked and had a goddamn heart attack. The vehicle they were in was being driven by Simon. He was in too much of a hurry to give a fuck what Simon was doing. But Rick seemed more on edge than when they left. That would either prove to be useful or detrimental to the plan altogether.

 

When Simon stopped the vehicle Negan realized they were outside of Alexandria. Without a word he grabbed the megaphone from the dashboard. Simon protested and said to wait until someone saw them. But Negan didn't want to wait anymore.

 

  
Negan hopped down onto the pavement and started whistling. One of his Saviors got out of his car to stand around as back up. No one was up on the look out platform which seemed a bit strange. Wasn't that the point of having that thing in the first place? He scoffed at the lack of security and turned the megaphone on.

 

  
"Anybody home? I'm right outside your fucking gates to have a little chat. Where the hell's Michonne? She's the only one I wanna talk to."

 

  
About ten minutes went by before Michonne appeared at the top of the platform. She didn't give two fucks judging by her facial expression. As much as he appreciated that type of energy, he didn't have time for bullshit. Michonne asked him why he was there.

 

Clearly she had no clue that Sasha was with them.

 

  
"I'm here with one of yours, don't worry she's alive and we didn't hurt a hair on her head. Sasha's safely in a coffin in the back of that truck. We have no intentions of hurting her but if you wanna call that bluff go ahead. I'll give her back to you if you agree to talk peacefully."

 

  
"Do you promise not to hurt her?"

 

  
"Yeah, I promise. Just open the gates and only Rick, Arat , Simon and I will follow. My other Saviors will walk around the community a bit. Deal?"

 

  
From what I could see Michonne nodded before asking if she could see Sasha alive. Negan called out to Joseph who scrambled out of the truck. He couldn't see what was happening but he heard Joseph say she was alive. A bit of nervousness was building due to Joseph not bringing Sasha out. All that was snubbed once he saw her walking towards him. She wasn't a walker or on her death bed so all was well in that department.

 

  
 Negan made sure Sasha was visible which made Michonne come down. Eventually the gate was opened up for them to come inside. He set the microphone down on the ground and started walking.Rick, Arat, Simon and Sasha ended up following suit as they were meant to. He heard Simon talking whispering to Rick and his blood started to boil. 

 

  
Later he would have to deal with whatever the hell Simon said.

 

  
Everyone in Alexandria was on high alert and looked ready to do something. Negan felt wary about being alone in Michonne's home. Mainly due to the fact that it was close quarters. So he told they could talk somewhere a bit more open. She didn't seem to object and lead them to a grassy area.

 

  
She had a few people standing close by, including Carl who looked twitchy and that scruffy looking redneck.

 

  
"We're here to call a truce and to stop this shit from escalating. Sasha here told me you're planning to attack and that Rick's got a target on him. I want you to stop everybody from doing something really stupid. My Saviors are prepared to do whatever it takes to protect us. And we'll set this place on fire if we really fucking have to. Now, I don't want that little angel of yours to die. She's one person that doesn't deserve it."

 

  
Michonne looked at them as cold as ever, "What makes you think we want to call a truce? Your people have taken from all of us, some more than others. And now you're wanting to absolve that, all because you're scared someone wants to fight back."

 

  
"I know what we've done has hurt people. What I did in that line up wasn't forgivable and I know that. At the time we thought it was necessary." Rick explained with a calm voice. "We can live in peace and maybe work out an agreement."

 

  
"Mom! You can't! They can't be trusted especially not after what they did to Abraham and Glenn." Carl tried to tell Michonne frantically.

 

  
"Carl, please just relax."

 

  
"No! Ever since they've come into our lives things have gotten worse. We've barely got any food and the other communities are suffering. The only solution is to end this right here and now."

 

 

Negan noticed how Carl was touching his back, "Don't make a mistake that you'll regret, kid. Your dad doesn't want anything to happen to you and neither do I."

 

  
"That's not my dad, he's turned into something else and I have to protect my family." Carl pulled a gun out from behind himself and Negan went wide eyed. Everything felt slow motion as he yelled for everyone to hold their fire. Before he realized it Carl was aiming at the lower half of his body. When Carl pulled the trigger Negan thought for sure he'd get shot. Until Rick was jumping in front of him and got hit instead.

 

  
Another bullet flew and hit Simon directly in the head. As his body dropped Negan was even more wide eyed. He heard a lot of screaming and shooting. Carl was nowhere to be found. The main thing he needed to worry about was Rick who was hit in the stomach.

 

  
Negan managed to pick Rick up from the ground and told Arat to cover him. "If he fucking dies I'm gonna burn this place to the goddamn ground."

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DUN DUN DUNNN. 
> 
> alright, i'm done being an asshole (momentarily) & i would like to make it clear that the last chapter will be a cliffhanger. i may go a few different routes but it'll still be a cliffhanger no matter what.
> 
>  
> 
> thanks for reading & liking this story! we (the fic writers) always love comments so go ahead & leave those!


	9. In My Time of Possibly Dying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE END. 
> 
> thanks to everyone who has read , left decent comments , left kudos & supported. anyways, aside from that, i have enjoyed changing canonical events & seeing how different the world becomes. 
> 
> hope this chapter is satisfying in some aspect(it might not be due to the ending) & that it was a cool journey.

Rolling around on top of the sheets made Rick feel like he was young again.

 

Occasionally he and Negan got into tickle fights that ended up a bit more heated. Which made Rick think of how he felt before he found the Sanctuary. There was that burdensome loneliness that ate Rick alive. He'd lost Lori, Carl and Shane - his last few traces of the old world. And for a while he couldn't picture finding love again. Now Rick had a husband who loved him and saw him in his entirety.

 

Using all his strength Rick flipped Negan onto his back to gain control of the fight. Rick was laughing so hard that tears were springing from his eyes. This was how it went every single time. During mid thought he took his eyes off Negan and was bucked off. There wasn't anything remotely heated about their tickle fight. It was just Negan being competitive like he usually was about everything.

 

  
Rick giggled when he felt fingers tickling his sides. "S-s-top it! Negan!"

 

  
His husband flashed his Cheshire grin and shook it head. "Oh fuck no baby. I'm getting you back for the shit you pulled today. Don't think you're getting off that fucking easy."

 

  
Confusingly Rick asked what Negan meant by that but didn't get an answer. The way Negan's face went blank was worrisome and startling. "C'mon don't give me the silent treatment. What'd I do?"

 

  
"You jumped in front of a bullet for me dumb ass. That's what I fucking mean and you're dying because of it." Suddenly blood started coming out of Negan's mouth and he smiled but instead of white all Rick saw was red.

 

  
"Negan? What the hell is happenin'?"

 

  
"What should have happened you fucking idiot."

 

* * *

 

  
Frantically Negan ran with Rick in his arms and adrenaline kept him from stumbling. His hand was pressed firmly against the spot Rick was bleeding from. Since he wasn't a fucking doctor or anyone in the medical field - he didn't know if the bullet was inside. The Sanctuary had better equipment and Dr Carson. Problem was they had get there in time and everything was chaotic.

 

  
Negan had no intentions of waiting for anyone else, they would have to figure shit out themselves. Once he got one of the vehicles he told Arat to drive. Negan got in the back seat so Rick would have space and so he could hold his wound. He started sobbing when he noticed Rick was completely unconscious.

 

  
From the back he could see Arat looking at them from the rear view. She put the key in the ignition, turned the vehicle around and pressed hard on the gas pedal. The tires screeched so loud the whole community probably fucking heard. Negan yelled at her to not slow down for anyone. She said nothing but Negan knew she would listen to him.

 

  
The way that Rick looked didn't seem right to him so he hoped they'd get there in time. Negan felt desperate enough to pray to whatever was listening. He silently begged the universe not to take Rick.

 

* * *

 

  
Rick screamed so loud that he felt like he'd shatter his own eardrums. Where was he and why couldn't he just wake up to talk to Negan? So he could at least tell him that he loved him. He closed his eyes because what looked like Negan wasn't responding. All he was doing was staring at the wall.

 

When he opened them he didn't see his husband. So he sat upright so get a better view of his surroundings. Everything was bleak and it felt like nothingness. It was something he and a lot of people feared about death. That not everyone went somewhere. Instead you'd sit in nothingness til the end of time. He called out for Negan but nothing responded back to him.

 

  
All of a sudden a figure was walking towards him, the person seemed familiar to him. Their face was distorted like he wasn't supposed to see them.

 

  
This feeling of being frozen in spot was kicking in once the person's face was revealed. It was Lori and she looked the same as when he last saw her. She reached out and touched his face softly and smiled right at him.

 

  
"Is this real? Are you real? Where am I?" Rick asked what appeared to be Lori.

 

  
Lori continued to smile at him, "This is real and I'm real. I'm glad you found happiness again and have someone who loves you. Negan's an interesting person, definitely nothing like me."

 

  
"Why are you here? Are you here to take me?"

 

  
"I don't know yet but I'm hoping that I won't have. It isn't your time to go yet, you've got so much to figure out and change. The direction you're headed, Rick, it isn't good. I know Negan's your husband but his future doesn't look good. Not if you die and definitely not if he doesn't stop himself."

 

  
Looking into her eyes he knew for a fact it was actually the real Lori. She had a way about her, that he knew quite well, so he knew it wasn't fake.

 

  
"You're scared and I know how scary it is to be dyin'. When I gave birth to Judith it was one of the biggest sacrifices I've ever made. But bringing her into the world isn't somethin' I regret. Though I hate that I had to leave Carl, Shane, the others and without you realizing I left you." Lori had tears in her eyes and they started dripping down her milky white cheek. "I hoped that you were alive and were safe with people."

 

  
Rick used his thumb to wipe her tears away. "It wasn't your fault that we didn't find each other again. Wasn't anybody's fault, I see that clearly now. I'm glad you were kept safe and that Carl didn't lose you right away."

 

  
"I almost lost him in the beginning, he got shot by accident and it scared me so much. If I didn't have Shane there I don't know what I would have done. He missed you so much, Rick. I could see it in his eyes every single day. And he loved you even though it was hard to admit."

 

  
Everything that Lori was telling him was making him want to break down. Knowing that he was never forgotten or discarded in memory made him feel better. But now Carl absolutely hated him and there was no fixing that. "I did somethin' in front of Carl when we sort of reunited. Maybe you know already but it doesn't matter. He has no trust left in me and I can't say I really blame him. When he aimed that gun at Negan I couldn't let him be shot. I'd die for him and maybe I am right now."

 

  
When Lori reached out he took her hand and she pulled him in for a hug. They embraced each other like neither wanted to let go. Rick didn't want to die alone if he was going to die. If he wasn't going to wake up he was relieved Lori would take him. The comfort he was feeling was warm just like Lori was in general. Rick started sobbing into Lori's shoulder and she rubbed his back.

 

* * *

 

  
"The Doc better be in his office otherwise I'll fucking lose my shit! Rick's barely hanging on as it is" Negan had Rick laid out on a trolley and was pushing it.

 

Meanwhile Arat was on top of him with her hand on Rick's wound. Surprisingly Rick wasn't already fucking dead. By the grace of whatever he still had a pulse but was obviously low.

 

They got to Doctor Carson's office and clearly startled him because he jumped out of his seat. His eyes widened when he saw Rick and went to say something.

 

Negan put up warning finger, "Don't you fucking dare say he looks dead. I know he's on the last legs of life but you're gonna save him. He got shot trying to save my damn life. I don't know if the bullet left his body or not. All I know is he's lost a lot of goddamn blood. So fix him!"

 

Yelling at the doctor wouldn't change the situation so he kept quiet after that. Doctor Carson looked weary as he examined Rick and checked his wound. Apparently the bullet went through so he had a better change of survival. He told them that Rick needed blood soon. Conveniently Negan had Type-O negative blood which meant he was compatible with anyone. He flung his jacket to the floor and rolled up his t-shirt sleeve. Doctor Carson went ahead and got set up.

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

They sat together in silence and then Lori started laughing about something. Rick looked at her confusingly and asked her what was making her laugh so hard. She then reminded him of the time they made cookies together and got into a food fight. The memory was something that Rick had indefinitely forgotten about. Thinking back to those days wasn't something he did often. Rick let himself chuckle alongside her.

 

  
The darkness surrounding them wasn't comforting to him. It wasn't something he'd get used to if he was alone for the rest of his days. Rick wondered what Negan would do if he actually did die. The conclusion he came to was that he'd burn Alexandria down and use Lucille on everyone. Including Carl.

 

  
Rick didn't know how to feel about that idea because Carl was still his son. Still he had some anger towards Carl for not giving him a chance. All he'd done since they reunited was lash out and the only time he didn't was fleeting. Judith wasn't Rick's by blood but he did want to know her. The only people stopping him were Carl and Michonne.

 

  
Clearly Lori noticed his irritation and possibly read his mind because she told him Carl would come around. That he had to eventually.

 

  
"Not that it's gonna matter 'cause I'm probably gonna die anyways. This is what he wanted and now he may get his wish."

 

  
"Stop talkin' bout our boy like he's the enemy. You know why he's mad at you and he's got every right to be. Glenn was family to Carl and he was an important part of the group. And yes I know what you did to Glenn."

 

  
Rick didn't have much to say to that and just fiddled with his fingers. "Oh."

 

  
Lori had a melancholic expression when she turned to him. "Thankfully I didn't see it but I know and if you'd known Glenn you would know he didn't deserve that. He was one person that everyone loved in our group. Even Shane and he didn't take to very many people in the beginning."

 

  
"How did you and Shane happen? Can I know that at least?"

 

  
"It wasn't planned and I didn't expect to sleep with him when I did. Our relationship happened early 'cause we both thought you were dead. And without realizing it became..somethin' else. When I found out I was pregnant I was shocked. There was no questioning that it was Shane's. He stepped up and made sure that everythin' would be okay. Carl was excited but I wasn't all that much. Knowing the baby would grow up in this world made my heart hurt. I didn't want to give birth in some ditch, lose the baby or compromise the group. When he ended up at a prison I thought it'd become home for us. Then everythin' got chaotic and I had to ask Maggie to cut me open. Carl was there and had see me die."

 

  
That alone must have scarred Carl but Rick didn't know everything he'd been through.

 

  
"According to Shane he lost control when I died. Carl couldn't even reach him and no one wanted to deal with him. He met a really tragic end and that was that." Lori swallowed and brushed her brown hair back. "Neither of us got to see our child."

 

  
"I'm so sorry for that, Lori."

 

* * *

 

 

There wasn't anything left to do except wait for Rick to possibly wake up. Even with the equipment that the Sanctuary had, they weren't that advanced. Doctor Carson couldn't leave the room because he had to monitor Rick. Without any machines they couldn't know if Rick's heart was failing or anything. So Doctor Carson consistently checked his pulse and made sure the blood transfusion was coming along.

 

  
Negan felt extremely faint but tried to stay upright while his blood entered Rick. He didn't even care that Carson was in the room and made occasional conversation with Rick. Of course it was all one sided and he looked fucking stupid. But it kept him relaxed to speak to him at least.

 

  
Despite how Rick likely couldn't hear him, he told him about how Simon was just a jealous asshole. Now he was dead and it didn't fucking matter anymore. That loss should have been heavier for Negan, considering he was his best friend at one point. Instead Negan didn't know if it mattered. Simon was a ticking time bomb and would eventually do something stupid again.

 

  
He was just relieved he never had to be the one to put a bullet in him.

 

  
In a moment of spontaneity Negan began singing a song that he knew Rick loved. It was Pink Floyd's "Wish You Were Here" and Doctor Carson was staring. Between sobs he kept singing and the words were jumbled. He couldn't move because of the IV but he squeezed Rick's hand from where he was seated.

 

  
"Doc, tell me truthfully, will he make it?" Negan didn't even sound like himself and he knew it.

 

  
Doctor Carson sighed and gave him an apologetic look. "I don't know but he could very well pull through."

 

  
"Think he can hear me? I know he's not in some coma so he could hear me right now, right?"

 

  
"Yes, that's very possible that he can."

 

  
Negan just nodded along and let the words fly. "Rick, I hope you can hear me right now. I don't fucking care what it takes but if you make it - we're fixing shit. We can't be so far gone that it's impossible to get it back. I promise that I'll do better and not fuck it all up again. Maybe it ain't too late to fix everythin'."

 

 

When he glanced up towards the door he saw Arat there. From the look on her face Negan could tell something was fucking wrong. 

 

* * *

 

 

  
Physically Rick could feel himself barely holding onto life. Whether or not he would pass on or live seemed up to him. Lori didn't give him any answers and only told him to choose what felt right.

 

  
For a moment he wondered if he should let himself go and die. He wouldn't return to a world that was so damaged, full of walkers, threats everywhere, Alexandria and the other communities wanting them dead or any of the other chaos. Then he thought of how it would kill Negan. His husband wouldn't survive his death and would likely go on a rampage.

 

  
Lori cupped his cheek like she used to, "You know that you need to keep livin', Rick. The world needs Rick Grimes, the version of you that you'll become."

 

  
"What if this is what's supposed to happen?" Rick questioned and watched Lori's head shake. "How can I change the world?"

 

  
"I can't reveal these things, love. What I can tell you is that you will change the world someday. Negan will be apart of that if you guide him in the right direction. You'll see a new world that's full of possibilities and it won't feel so bleak anymore. It's the world that my little girl is supposed to grow up in. Please, Rick, help make that happen."

 

  
With tears in his eyes Rick nodded and asked her what he needed to do. Apparently all he needed to do was walk away from her and away from the light. Rick sniffed at the idea of not seeing her for a long time again. He'd already gone so long.

 

  
The light that was appearing not far behind Lori was peaceful. And for a moment Rick almost ran towards it. Then his heart began guiding him away from it. He watched as Lori disappeared into the light with a smile on her face.

 

 

"Goodbye, Lori." Rick murmured, hoping she'd hear him from a distance.

 

* * *

 

 

  
"Sir, the people that survived came back to warn us that Alexandria is going ahead with the war. We should probably prepare for the worst and get some people in the front." Arat had her gun in hand and looked ready to go. "I know you can't leave the room but what do you want to do?"

 

  
Negan pinched the bridge of his nose just like Rick did often. "I want you to gather up our fucking soldier and go out there. Tell them what to do. I know you're good at that and I'll come find you once - "

 

  
"Of course. I'll head outside immediately and we'll wait all night if we have to. And sir?"

 

  
"Yeah?"

 

  
"I hope he makes it."

 

  
That was one of the more sentimental things that Arat's ever said since he'd know her. Normally she kept herself closed off, barely smiled and obeyed orders. Negan thanked her before she left the area to gather everyone. His soldiers were prepared for a battle so Alexandria could try something.

 

  
Suddenly he heard a gasp from Doctor Carson and his heart dropped. He let his eyes glance towards Rick who had his eyes open"Holy fucking shit. I thought you were gonna die, I thought I'd have to bury you."

 

  
"I'm in pain and I need - I need some water if you got any." Rick mentioned weakly.

 

  
Negan snapped his fingers at Doctor Carson who scrambled to find water. There were some water bottles in the office so he gave that to Negan. "Here's some water, baby. Drink up." He took the cap off and leaned forward to make sure it didn't spill. Rick could barely move so he held the bottle to his mouth. As Rick drank he worried it was just a dream that he was awake.

 

  
"You can stop lookin' at me like that. I'm actually awake. My body hurts and I know I've lost a lot of blood. But I think you've given me enough."

 

  
"No, I fucking haven't given you enough. Maybe it's too much to be talking about our marriage right now. Yet I just know I need to say this before I can't. I love you too goddamn much to let you slip away. What happened with Simon was fucking stupid. I can remember what happened that night and we didn't do anything. I'm so sorry for what I've put you through."

 

  
"I know you are." Rick's mouth curved into a partial smile. "I forgive you."

 

  
"Fuck, this is exactly what I needed to fucking hear right now."

 

  
"We can discuss this more later on, okay? Right now it's important that you tell me if Alexandria is here."

 

  
"I don't know if they are but we're definitely going to war. Those fuckers have got some goddamn nerve after this. Carl's little revenge fantasy didn't play out. I hope he feels bad for this shit otherwise he's a little prick." Negan felt dizzy and lightheaded but managed to display some anger.

 

  
Rick's brows furrowed at him, "We took people from him and he's got a right to be mad at us. But I don't he's ever gonna trust us and he showed that. He's still my son but I don't know what to do."

 

  
"They're coming and I got a decision to make on whether or not we'll take them down. I know they don't stand a chance against us at this point. We're outnumbering them by a fuck load unless they've got a secret army. Even then those people don't know how to fucking fight."

 

  
"We don't know that though. They've surprised us this far so who knows what they're planning. All we can do is handle it and keep our people safe. Keep each other safe. Right now I can't exactly do much."

 

 

One day went by without Alexandria swinging by and that was more troublesome. And Negan's reassurance that it'd all be fine didn't help. He could feel it in his bones that Michonne and them were coming.

 

Against the doctor's orders, Rick found himself demanding he be put in a wheel chair. His wound was wrapped up and he was on a set of antibiotics. Laying around in bed over one bullet wound was torture. Rick knew he almost died but there were other matters to attend to.

 

  
He got wheeled out by the doctor and they found Negan talking to Arat and others.

 

  
"You're not supposed to be out of fucking bed." Negan hissed and gave Doctor Carson a death glare. "I thought you'd fucking make him stay in bed."

 

  
Doctor Carson seemed taken aback, "He demanded that I do this and I couldn't say no."

 

  
"For fuck sake, Rick! You're only staying outta that goddamn bed for an hour. Do you hear me? I will make sure you don't leave bed rest after that. You're staying outta this war."

 

  
"Negan, I have to help. This is our home and our people and my son is apart of the other side."

 

  
"Don't you worry I'll fucking take care of this whole thing. We've got people guarding the Sanctuary at all times. Not a damn thing could possibly happen."

 

  
It was like Negan jinxed them because he heard bullets shooting through the windows. Rick couldn't get to the ground so Negan shielded him just in case. People were screaming and running around like chickens with their heads cut off. They were obviously here but Rick needed to see for himself. Being out of the loop wasn't something he was accustomed to.

 

  
When the shooting stopped Rick asked if anyone was hit but no one seemed to be. That was likely a scare tactic or to get their attention. "We gotta go out there and see what exactly we're lookin' at here. If it's just a few Alexandrians then we'll try to make peace. This is their last chance and then we gotta retaliate."

 

  
"You're not coming outside with me, I'll go check with some of the others." Negan tried to tell him but Rick wasn't having that. "I can't have you get shot again."

 

  
"I won't. Why the hell would Carl or anyone else bother tryin'?" Rick was going to follow whether Negan liked it or not. And he knew that. Reluctantly Negan got behind him and started pushing his wheel chair. He told Doctor Carson to go hide somewhere or check on other people. With a nod the doctor disappeared.

 

  
Negan let out an agitated sigh, "Let's go make conversation with these assholes."

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Well well well! Looks like a merry band of pricks, dicks and fucking hicks have come to visit! That little show you put with the guns and the windows was cheap. As you can see I'm still alive and fucking well you fucks. Now if you don't mind me asking, what the hell do you want?" Negan was putting on his regular amount of charisma. He was trying to pretend like Carl didn't try to kill him. And didn't almost kill his fucking husband.

 

  
Michonne was visible and looked well armed, "We're here to tell you that it all ends now. I have gotten all the communities together and we're prepared to fight you."

 

  
"Are you? Or are you dicking around like a bunch of idiots? I know for damn certain that a bunch of farmers and wannabe theater kids can't do shit. I don't care how many guns you've given them."

 

  
The silence was very telling but Michonne responded back by saying he didn't know them. That he didn't know what they could do for that matter. Carl was standing close by her and Negan almost made a comment about Rick. Instead he reeled it back and noticed Rick poking him.

 

  
"What the hell ?" Negan whispered to Rick who seemed to want to speak. "Okay, go ahead."

 

  
Rick wheeled forwards until he was close enough to the railing on the platform. "We don't want this to escalate but we're prepared for it to. You can take your people and go home before this goes any further."

 

  
Judging by the looks from everyone, no one wanted to do that, they wanted to fight and not make peace.

 

  
"What the hell do we do now?" Rick spoke lowly through clenched teeth.

 

  
Without saying a thing, Negan got everyone to rush back inside when he saw the Alexandrians and others raising their guns. He quickly wheeled around but saw Negan move and fall down the stairs. Worry spread through Rick but Arat suddenly was pushing him inside. She told him that Negan would find a way back in and shut the doors.

 

  
And somehow he found himself believing that. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> please leave comments, kudos & subscribe!!
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> maybe even leave an ask in my ask box on my side blog: rickbisexualgrimes


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